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How To Make Your Long Distance Relationships Work Properly?

Sep 14, 2008
Your dating search results can include members within 25 miles of your zip code or it could include the entire country. How can a relationship work at such a distance? Is it worth it or is it an inconvenience? Is it for you?

Part 1: Do you want to get into a long distance relationship?

1. How long is the distance?

There is a difference between being 300 miles away from someone and being 3,000 miles away from someone. Are you willing to drive 2 hours to visit someone or are you willing to take a plane to get there? This can be a question of disposable income. How often will you be able to see your possible match? How much do you want to visit them?

2. How serious are you?

If you're just looking for a casual date or are you looking to get married. If your definition of casual dating is going out to eat and occasionally catching a movie, there is no dispute that a long distance relationship is not for you. However, if you're looking for a long term commitment and you are sure that this person is who you want to be with, then getting into a long distance relationship might work for you.

3. What is your lifestyle like?

If you find yourself busy with work or school or family (or all three) you might find long distance dating easier. You can communicate when you can via e-mail or phone calls and you don't have to try to work another person into your schedule.

Part 2: How do you conduct a long distance relationship?

1. How do you communicate?

With today's technology it's easy to keep in touch with someone. You have several options including using e-mail, instant messaging, webcams and phones. While using these are convenient to use, you also have to think about how high your phone bills are going to be.

2.What about visits?

This can be a major issue in long distance relationships. Who comes to see who? This can be a matter of money, but also of comfort. Will you be willing to go the distance to meet someone for the first time? Do you like the area that they live in and want to visit there often? Does your partner feel the same way?

Part 3: What are some of the difficulties in long distance relationships?

1. How can your trust your partner?

Being so far away means that your partner can do whatever he or she wants and you would, most likely, never know about it. The sobering truth is that, while you have to realize that your match could be dishonest or unfaithful to you in any setting, being so far away makes it all that much easier.

2. Will you get too used to living alone?

Some military spouses get used to being alone for long periods of time and run their household the way they want. They make their own schedules and live how they see fit. But when their partner returns it can cause friction because there is suddenly someone else in the house that has other needs and desires that don't coincide with the spouses'. This can also happen in long distance relationships. Will you get too accustomed to living alone that your relationship can only work long distance? Are you willing to take that risk?

3. Are you better over the phone or in person?

There is a big difference between being compatible with someone on paper and having real chemistry. Talking to someone over the phone and communicating via e-mail can be fun and exciting, but if you meet them and there is no spark, what do you do? If your goals, lifestyles and personalities match but nothing else does then chatting on a webcam might be the extent of the relationship. Are you willing to date someone that you're not physically attracted to? Also, you might have great chemistry with someone but find that you're unable to have a five minute phone conversation. There has to be a happy medium between the distance and the human element.

If you're thinking about getting into a long distance relationship then carefully consider all of the aspects. Discuss it with your potential match and make sure that you both understand the benefits and struggles that go along with a long distance relationship.
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