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What You Are Advised To Do When You're On Your First Date?

Sep 14, 2008
You've finally gotten there. You've met someone that you like, you've gotten to know them via e-mail, phone or webcam, you both are ready to meet in person and you've both agreed to a date. What do you do now?

Tip 1: What do you wear?

If you have a specific activity in mind, then dress appropriately for that activity. If you are doing something casual then dress the way you normally dress. If you like to wear jeans, then wear jeans, if you like to get dressed up then do that. Aside from changing clothes for an event, you should dress as you see fit. Dressing for someone else is not authentic and can be uncomfortable. Don't feel obligated to go out and purchase a new outfit. You match wants to date you so be yourself.

Tip 2: How do you prepare?

When you have your outfit selected make sure that you get everything else into place. Care for yourself the way you normally do and make sure that you are well groomed. Sometimes a sprits of perfume or cologne can be applied. But make sure that you don't go overboard.

Tip 3: When should I get there?

The last thing you want to do is make a bad impression at the very beginning of your first date. Arrive a little ahead of time and get comfortable with your surroundings. If you are going to be late for any reason, call your date immediately and let them know. Your match will understand if you get caught in traffic.

As soon as you arrive, call your date and let them know that you're there and where they can meet you. Your date doesn't want to have to wander around wondering where you are. Find a specific location to meet them, like by a fountain in front of a movie theatre or in the second booth at a restaurant.

Tip 4: Nerves

You and your date will most likely be nervous. There are very few people who don't feel even a little anxiety during a first date. Breath deeply and try to relax. Some people tend to start out with a few nerves then make them worse by thinking about how wrong things can possibly go. One way some dates like to deal with their nerves is to consume alcohol before the date. This is not a good idea. While it might calm you down, it might have other effects on you and your date might not find it attractive if you smell like a brewery.

Tip 5: Conversation

Have some topics in mind before the date. Make sure to relate them to something that you have spoken briefly about or a mutual interest. If you have never talked about politics don't suddenly ask your date what they think of Obama. Make sure that both of you are interested in the topic and can contribute to the conversation. If you love politics and your date doesn't you will even up talking to them instead of talking with them.

Don't not excessively talk about yourself. While you will want to tell your date a little more about you, if you start telling them your life story without giving them a chance to say anything, you will also find yourself talking to them.

An interviewing technique is to ask people questions about themselves. This way you get to know them and they will begin to open up to you. This can also be helpful if you're nervous and aren't sure of what to say. Of course, your partner could lapse into talking at you instead of talking with you. If they do this and you don't appreciate this type of conversation, try to interject without interrupting.

However, if you're shy and like to listen instead of talk, then this style of conversation might work for you. However you feel comfortable communicating with them will work best. But make sure that you know what your partner's conversation style is like.

Tip 6: End on a good note

Should you try for a good night kiss? This is also a burning question. You should watch for your partner's body language and other types of feedback. When you end the date, are they smiling? Do they ask you out for a second date? Does it look like they had a good time? If you are in doubt, then wait. If your date kisses you, then congratulations! If you feel uncomfortable by this then just take a step backwards and let them know. Make sure you're kind and don't bruise their ego.

Whatever you thought about the date itself, tell your date that you had a good time. If you did not have a good time, you may want to think about the date some more and critique what happened. If you decide that you do not want to go out with this person again, then let them know gently. If all goes well, then you are on your way to your second date.
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