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Dating a Much Older Man

Sep 17, 2008
Sometimes women get attracted with a person who is much older than him. His status in society or financially strength whatever the reason is. However, some points to consider when dating a man who may be ten, twenty or more years your senior. But if you are prepared for any issues that may occur, they can become opportunities to strengthen your relationship rather than problems for you both.

One of the first things you will become aware of is the attitude of others to your relationship. Friends, family and society in general all have their opinion of why a younger woman may date an older man.

For your friends, if they are a similar age to you, they may feel as though you are bringing someone into their circle that will not be able to fit in. This may be the case. If so, it is easily dealt with by seeing your friends without your partner occasionally. However, don't prejudge your partner, or allow your friends to. Give him the chance and encourage your friends to do the same. A few years older does not necessarily mean a completely different outlook.

Family may well be concerned for you. An older man is often seen as more likely to be controlling of his younger partner. However, age is no indicator of a controlling personality and being with a partner of any age who does not give you the freedom to be yourself is unhealthy. Society in general, is far more accepting of an older man in a relationship with a younger woman than the other way round.

The biggest "stage of life" issue is that of children. If you don't have kids and may want them at some stage in the future, whereas his are grown up, left home and the only babies he imagines himself holding are grandchildren, you need to get this out in the open. If neither of you are prepared to change your mind on this, the relationship is not going to last. You can't compromise here. You are either planning to have kids together or your not. Be honest about how you feel about having children.

Another potential hurdle is that of what happens when he reaches old age before you. Will you end up as a full time career? Don't get too worried about what might never happen. He could be fit and well into his nineties whereas you need care in middle age. Life has no certainties and it is not worth sacrificing happiness to what might happen later. However, if you are lucky enough to have a chance of a great relationship, whatever the age gap or superficial hurdles, go for it. Nothing worth having is always easy and your happiness is worth the effort.
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