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Perfection in a Marriage Only Causes Guilt
That a woman can have it all and do it all at the same time is a totally attainable. The part we do not realize is that we cannot do both simultaneously. Being a perfect woman, mom and wife is an illusion. It does not exist, and cannot exist.
Through many years of meeting women, I have seen many kinds. None of these women has successfully achieved all of these things at one time. It is very possible to be a wonderful mom, great wife and successful in your career, but not possible to maintain all three at once. If you find a woman who claims to do this, she is a liar.
Making choices enables a successful life. The most successful women are the ones who analyze their situations and choices and make priorities. If a women does what her mother did, or what society thinks she should are blind and probably not making the best choices. If your mom stayed at home and you work, or your best friend is a huge business success, while you stay at home, you are not a failure in either predicament. What is right for you is best. You should do what fulfills you and makes you happiest.
I have had many cases of people doing one thing while wanting to do another and never feeling happy or fulfilled, or feeling a failure for not being able to do all of what they are expected to. I had an email from Emily, who purchased Light His Fire and Light Her Fire, she writes, "Being a good mother was my first priority but for the past few years, I've been buried by diapers. Having three children all under the age of five has consumed all of my time. It was my husband's idea that we get both programs and concentrate on each other for a while. We had begun to feel like strangers. Now it's time to get back being a wife." I have also received letters with the exact opposite situation.
When a woman focuses on her career, her home and children will have less of her focus, it is not possible for her to focus on all three at the same time. My program also explains how to focus on your husband, you will have to exclude your children at times. You will feel less guilt once you stop trying to be supermom and superwoman.
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