|
|
Planning a Women's Retreat so Those with Chronic Illness Can Come
Who are the women who are attending your church retreats? Did you know that nearly 1 in 2 people in the USA have a chronic illness and practically 96% of the illnesses are invisible? Most of these women suffer silently; many live with depression, isolation, and feel very alone. But you will also discover many women who live with illness possess great wisdom beyond their years; they will make a difference in the lives of others who are attending your retreat, perhaps even beyond the retreat speaker. But are they even attending the retreat?
Rest Ministries, the largest Christian organization that serves the chronically ill, took a survey about attending retreats. Out of the twenty respondents, seventeen participate less since they have a chronic illness. When asked why, the responses were as follows:
Three reported, "Accessibility issues (I know I can't easily get to and from different buildings at the retreat)"; 6 people said, "The pain factor. It's just too draining"; 4 responded, "The unpredictable health issues"; and 10 explained that it was, "A combination of the above."
So, how can you reach out to these women and get them involved in your church retreat?
1. When deciding upon your retreat location, ask a lot of questions about the center and promote the fact that you have this information before people even register.
How steep are the hills? Are ride-in carts available? How far are the rooms from the main meeting center? Is electricity in the rooms? Are there only bunk beds? Can someone have a private room? Are there chairs besides the metal folding chairs? Elevators? One woman shares, "I stopped going a year or so ago because the retreat planner does not tell you what is expected, or about walking, stairs, etc. They need to be more honest." Those who attend retreats look for locations that are held at retreat center without a lot of walking, and preferably flat ground. Hotels or a large home are nice too. While you may think fifty yards is a "short distance," fifty steps may be one's limit. Provide actual distances on your flyer, not just "rooms are a short walking distance."
2. Realize that women with illness have a great desire to go on retreats and get to know others, but they also will be on their own schedule at times. Don't take it personally.
Margaret, who lives with a malignant brain tumor and uterine cancer says, "I don't attend because people don't want to understand or accept that sometimes I have to retreat from the 'retreat.' I may have to go to my room to get some rest. Others decide that I'm escaping from my problems, and they demand that I participate in whatever is happening. I'm not wishing to be anti-social and I will participate when God enables me to do so. But when God tells me to rest, I must rest, despite what the [retreat] 'timetable' states." A schedule of the retreat's events a week before can be extremely helpful, even if it's just posted on your church's web site.
3. While you are deciding events such as ice-breakers or fun games, make sure there is something that those with physical limitations can participate in if they choose
If people don't want to participate in the relay race where everyone dresses up in costumes, allow them to do their own thing. Debbie, who has chronic fatigue syndrome says, "Unfortunately, I have yet to find a retreat director who understands that I am not able to participate, not because I'm uncooperative, shy, or antisocial, but simply because I cannot physically do so; the result is that I do not attend church retreats."
4. Don't gasp when you see all the stuff she has packed
All women may have necessities that they pack to make their weekend more comfortable. But for those with chronic illness this may also include: different forms of bedding, cushions for chairs, special pillows, dozens of snacks, pain patches, shades to sleep, and a flashlight and a book to read if they can't sleep. They may bring special water, the biggest pill box of medication you've ever seen (don't comment), and maybe even a service dog (which she should have spoken to you about in advance).
5. Though you have good intentions with your suggestions, remember that she knows her body better than you do, and she's trying to plan for her best experience
For example, riding a bus to the retreat may throw her back out for the entire weekend, so if she asks if she can ride in a car with a staff member, this may be an easy modification. If she puts on a headset to listen to music, don't take it personally; she may need some quiet time to rejuvenate so she can socialize that evening. She may need to eat small, frequent meals and snacks if she is diabetic. Don't say, "We're going to be eating and thirty minutes so please wait to eat with everyone else."
6. Take her requests in stride without thinking she is being a prima donna
While she may insist that she get the bottom bunk bed and then pull out her own mattress and pillows, it's not because she thinks she is the Princess and the Pea. Some of her needs are likely medical requirements. One example is having electricity in the rooms for people who use something such as the CCAP machine which treats sleep apnea. (Out of 20 women surveyed, 2 of them were required to use one). She may also have medications that need to be refrigerated, and an ice pack won't keep it cold enough. So she may need access to a staff member who can get into the retreat center kitchen. Sheryl, lives with chronic myofascial pain, and she says, "Make sure there are always chairs available for those who can't stand more than a couple of minutes." Although it's unlikely you will be able to see the person's chronic pain, she may not be able to stand more than a couple minutes comfortably.
7. Allow her to keep her illness as private as possible
Marjorie says, "When an explanation is given in confidence, don't react so that everyone present knows that I have a problem," and Anjuli, who has congenital myopathy (a form of Muscular Dystrophy) agrees. "Don't single me out!"
8. Have scholarships available
Chronic illness is very expensive and most of these women are on an extremely limited budget. Rarely will they ask for financial help to attend a church retreat, however, because they assume someone must need it more than them. Quietly let them know scholarships are available.
9. Delegate someone to oversee the necessities of your chronically ill attendees
The best person to choose may be your "healthiest" volunteer who has a chronic illness yourself, or a cancer survivor. This person would communicate with those who are attending and do the best they can to meet their needs and concerns. The women who responded to the Rest Ministries' survey still attend church retreats and typically approach the planner of the retreat before the event and discussed their health issues. But dozens of others who would like to attend simply assume that the church is unable to accommodate their needs, and they never ask if they might attend. Try to reach out to the women who assume they are unable to go. One way may be by putting a special line on your promotional flyer that says, "Do you live with chronic illness? Ask us about our special accommodations! We would love to see you there!"
One of the most valuable gifts in our church that we often overlook is the wisdom and joy of those who live with chronic illness and oftentimes daily pain, and love God anyways. September 8-14 is National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week, sponsored by Rest Ministries. It's a perfect opportunity to take a second look at your ministry's priorities and discover who is not being served who could use your encouragement. And don't forget to also include the chronically ill because the church is missing out on their joy in the Lord, despite their suffering. Get them involved in a retreat soon! One of them may just be your next speaker.
|
 |
Please Rate: |
|
Rating: |
 Processing ... |
(Average: Not rated) |
| Views: | 31 | |
|
| More Articles from Christianity | | |
| Top Articles in Christianity | | |
|
