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Healthful Caregiving
An estimated 25 million Americans provide care for elderly or chronically ill family members, doing everything from shopping for groceries and medication, driving them to appointments and social commitments, to bathing, dressing, feeding, cleaning house, and taking care of the family finances. Often they do it all. And often there is no other choice.
Caregiving and family support are important and necessary, and since this has become the norm, not the exception, it's vital that caregivers learn how to care for themselves while continuing to care for others. Learning and living by some simple caregiving guidelines will ensure that caregivers maintain their ability to function in that role.
Caregiving Guidelines
Whatever the specifics of your situation, there are the basic guidelines that will enable you to properly care for a loved one:
Take Care of Yourself
Providing care while holding down a job, running a household, or parenting can lead to exhaustion. If you do become exhausted or sick, you're more likely to make bad decisions or take out your frustrations in an unfair way. Here are some important elements of taking care of you:
Identify and do those things that make you feel healthy and well. You may feel rejuvenated by a weekly card game, trip to the movies with friends, or other social outing. Organize it and stick to it. In addition social outlets, commit to daily exercise. Walking, jogging, gym sessions, yoga, bike riding, and swimming are just a few easily-accessed options. Put them on your calendar and treat them like the completely necessary commitments they are.
Take advantage of opportunities for respite care. Take regular vacations without the one for whom you care. Refresh yourself for the "long haul." Pay attention to what your body tells you.
Before you make the commitment to be a caregiver, prepare for potential lifestyle changes (work schedules, social life, money and resources) and honestly evaluate your readiness.
Educate Yourself
Learn all that you can about your loved one's illness and physical/mental capabilities. Read the material offered by medical personnel and ask questions if anything is unclear. Read books from the library and check out online resources so that you fully understand the details and potential changes in your loved ones health. Understand what the future holds before you commit to taking it on.
Be an Advocate
Keep in mind you are a member of your loved one's health care team, and that your role is more important than anyone else's. Because you are always present, you may be the only one equipped to speak out on your loved one's behalf or to ask difficult questions.
Chances are the health care professionals will not communicate consistently with one another and you may need to help with the exchange of information. Keep notes and logs of medications, symptoms, behavior changes, sleep and eating habits and cognitive skills. Use it to refresh your memory when speaking with doctors.
Prepare your loved one's Personal Health History and take it with you as you accompany him to appointments. Make sure his doctor is aware of what's on it.
Involve Your Loved One
The ability to make decisions is a basic freedom, so provide choices whenever possible - where to live - which cereals to eat - what to wear. Choices enable us to express ourselves. As your loved one's options become more limited through health losses, financial constraints, etc., it may become more difficult to offer choices, but make every effort to do so when making both large and small decisions.
Preserve Dignity
Respect your loved one's right to make decisions about his life, and help him maintain a sense of control and privacy whenever possible.
Listen to what he has to say, and pay attention to his worries and concerns.
Provide help on your HIS terms, not yours. Tasks like dressing and bathing are personal and private.
Encourage your loved one to retain as much control over his life as possible.
Be understanding. Keep in mind that most people feel frustrated or unfairly burdened at some point.
Promote Independence
Caregivers often take over when they shouldn't. If your loved one is still capable of performing certain activities, such as paying bills or cooking meals, then encourage him to do so. Helping him maintain a feeling of independence will make him feel better about receiving care.
Encourage any effort at independence, no matter how small. Even if you can do something "quicker and easier" than your loved one, let him take care of it.
Avoid treating your loved one like a child.
Ask for Help
Many caregivers are so accustomed to providing help and seeing to another person's needs that they don't know how to ask for aid themselves. Take advantage of the help that's available.
Your family is your first resource. Spouses, brothers and sisters, children, and other relatives can do a lot to ease your caregiving burden. Let them know what they can and should do.
Look to your religious community for aid and counsel. Make your religious leader aware of your situation.
Attend caregiving support groups, or support groups for specific illnesses like Alzheimer's, mental illness or heart disease.
Encourage friends and family to visit and interact whenever they can.
About the Author Kate McLaughlin writes, speaks and advocates for mental health awareness. She is available to speak at events for high school & college students and faculties, as well as mental health support groups. Visit her at: Kate McLaughlin and read her newest book, MOMMY I'M STILL IN HERE.
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