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How Do You Get Your Ex Back When He Has a New Girlfriend?

Aug 17, 2007
As a dating coach, I always get this question:
How do I win back my ex.

The question gets even trickier when it is:
How do I win back my ex when he is already seeing someone else.

In most cases, I do not believe in going back. There is usually a very good reason for the breakup. You can be friends with your exes but jumping back into a bad relationship is very rarely a wise move.

Most of my clients initially do not want to hear this so:

That said, here is the answer to your question:

How do you get your ex back when he has a new girlfriend?

In most cases the key to winning your guy back is patience. Most women screw up their chances of getting back together with their guy by being too forward, clingy or by throwing a fit if he does not want to get immediately back together. He did not want to hear you complain, or see you sob your eyes out when he was dating you, why in the world would you think that this technique would work now?

Also, men find unavailable women desirable. Throwing yourself at him actually makes you less valuable in his eyes.

Why would he want to get back together with someone like that?

Instead, let him know that you would like to still be his friend. Do not bring up past issues or act bitter in any way. You must appear to be happy and enjoying your life. No needy pleas for him to come back.

He will be expecting you to either be angry or upset. Don't prove him right. Do the unexpected.

Be there as his friend and as a good listener when he and his new girlfriend inevitably argue. Lend a sympathetic ear. If she is just a rebound girlfriend he may begin to remember all the reasons why he dated you in the first place. Never speak badly of her to him, allow him to do that. You are just being really sweet and supportive.

Date someone else, if possible. I prefer the suggestion of being seen out with a male friend frequently, so that you are not leading some new guy on. Seeing another man interested in you may remind him that you are an attractive woman.

Actually develop yourself. Take the classes that you never had time to take, when you were dating. Take the extra time with your appearance that you forgot to do, as your relationship progressed. If you do not feel beautiful and seductive, why would he believe that you are and want you back?

For a really great demonstration of how to do this technique correctly, rent the movie French Kiss with Meg Ryan.

1)First they show exactly what not to do to get your guy back.

2) Then they show you how to approach him and the new girlfriend. This scene might actually work better overseas than in the states. They are more reserved. Here the new girlfriend might go for your throat. The point of this scene is not to go in with guns blazing. Be pleasant to the new girlfriend and wish them well.

3) Finally, there is a great scene where she goes to her ex to settle their relationship and divide up their stuff. He has dumped her for this French woman who he calls a goddess. Meg Ryan does not storm in like the scorned woman. She is classy about the whole thing and of course he is immediately enamored again.

Once a man realizes that you are perfectly ok without him, he begins to wonder if there is something valuable that he has lost. We tend to do the same thing, which is probably why this article even exists.

Choose class over throwing yourself at him in a wild attempt to "win him back." Start moving on with your life and he will find himself scrambling to catch up.
About the Author
Caterina Christakos is the author of the Seduction Game for Women. To learn even more in depth seduction tips go to: seductiondiva.com
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