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Secret to Improving Confidence by Beating Negative Thoughts

Aug 17, 2007
As we go through life, sometimes there is a nagging feeling of uncertainty and fear deep inside us. Negative thoughts surface and our confidence takes a beating. We do not seem to have any control over these feelings. Some days we wake up feeling on top of the world and ready to take on anything. Then there are days when we wake up feeling scared and just do not dare to do anything. It is like nothing will work. Why is it that on some days we feel like we can take on anything and on other days we just get paralyzed with this feeling of insecurity?

No matter what we do in our daily lives, a feeling of confidence makes it much easier for us to get on with whatever we do. We should well know this as we have experienced moments when we are able to take on any challenge. If we are capable of this, then why is it that we face moments during which we just freeze? How do we handle and overcome these negative thoughts?

Negative thoughts strike everyone, breaking down confidence and self esteem. Be consoled by the fact that this does not happen only to a selected few. This happens even to the most confident of people. Don't bother about getting rid of them. As unwelcome as they are, they will keep dropping by. They hold no power. The only power they have is the power we give them.

Unfortunately, a lot of people choose to let these fears take over not knowing exactly how to handle them. What you will find though is that if you get busy with something else, you just forget that there was a problem. If, however, you choose to allow yourself to be paralysed, then you will be stuck until the feeling for some reason goes away. Check again and you might find that something else would have happened that pushed aside the fears for the moment. Therein lies the secret.

What is important is to understand how these thoughts are triggered and how to respond to them. Here again it is not the triggers that need to be removed or fixed. Rather, it is the internal talk resulting from the triggers that happens inside that causes turmoil within us. If not acted upon, internal talk can seriously impact the way we feel and the level of confidence we feel. This, then, impacts how we handle our daily responsibilities. How then do we handle this internal talk?

The key to this is in responding to the triggers rather than reacting to them. It is your ability to control your inner voice and how it responds to the triggers that will make or break your confidence. The secret in handling this inner voice is again to respond appropriately and not react to them. Identify how the inner voice responds to different triggers. For each of these triggers, identify positive responses to override the negative thoughts that automatically pop up.

As you go through this analysis, writing down your thoughts creates a greater impact. If you try to think through this without writing, there is a tendency for all these thoughts to generate confusion in your mind and the problem starts to loom bigger in your mind. The act of writing somehow seems to clear the mind. The next time when you hit one of these nagging fears, just pick up your list and you will know what you need to do to silence it. Keep responding with positive thoughts and actions.

We can liken this to pouring clean water into a glass of murky water. As you keep pouring, the water in the glass gradually gets cleaner as the murky water is replaced by the clean water. It is important to note that effort is required to pour the clean water into the glass.

As you can see, you can improve your confidence if you take charge. Identify the triggers and prepare positive responses to override any feeling of fear or insecurity that may surface. Decide today to take control and start the journey to improving your confidence by beating those negative thoughts.
About the Author
Regina Maniam has for many years managed people and worked in teams where maintaining and boosting team members' confidence has been part and parcel of her role.
http://www.lifecoachingsecret.com
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