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Protect Your Goals From Negative Feedback And Still Be Authentic

By Anisa Aven
Dec 4, 2008
It is indicative of personal growth to get to the place where we want to be authentic in every situation. Within this intention, is the challenge of maintaining our level of peace, no matter what others say or feel about our dreams, beliefs, or goals.

Two goals of any conscious creator and seeker of enlightenment are to achieve equanimity and to be authentic, simultaneously.

Equanimity is defined as having a calm temperament, or an evenness of temper even under stress.

Being authentic can be defined as unquestionable congruent living; the moment to moment alignment of your sincere thoughts, values, emotions and actions.

Think of being authentic as being true to your inner most inspiration and intuitive truths; Following your heart, without conformity to the norm, while pursuing a significant life filled with purpose.

"Instead of spending our lives trying to satisfy our deficiency needs, we can become more self-actualizing by creating and pursuing meaningful life-purposes. We are self-actualizing if we pursue meanings and values beyond ourselves and our families. We transcend our earlier concern for what other people think and focus instead on being the persons we choose to be. In short, we grow away from conformity toward autonomy."
- Abraham Maslow (1908-1970), American psychologist

The reason many personal growth and development teachers suggest not sharing our goals with others who may not be supportive, is because we may be vulnerable to doubt, fear, and the criticism of those around us.

As law of attraction students, we know what doubt and fear can do to our vibration!?!? We know what criticism and those 'realists' do to our self-esteem and our ability to believe in ourselves!?!? And, it's not pretty!

My niece is a senior in high school. She is in the top 10% of a 5A school in Houston in all honors classes. She's 'authentically' a straight-A student and the only non A, was a C she received in ART. I saw the project that earned her the C for the six-weeks - it was a picture of a paper bag. She was told to 'draw a paper bag' and I thought it was awesome. I have NO idea, why the art teacher gave her a bad grade. It looked exactly like a paper bag to me!!!

Now, when you ask my niece to 'draw' something, she freezes up! She can't do it. She says, "I can't draw. I have no artistic talent whatsoever!"

That ONE teacher and her 'you are NO artist' grades instilled in my niece a belief that no matter how much she may want to be an artist, she simply doesn't possess the 'artist' gene.

We are vulnerable to the opinions of others and one comment can push us into a space of not believing in ourselves.

Therefore, we want to protect and shelter our harmonious thoughts and vibrations, in order to continue to attract what we want into your life.

However.. Here's the authentic Truth and catch to everything I've said above.

When we want to use the Law of Attraction to intentionally attract a relationship, for example, then being authentic is essential to discerning between when you've attracted the 'one' or just another one.

Ideally, the 'ONE' will get turned on, heated-up and excited about you being you! He/She will be supportive and honoring, even when they don't fully comprehend what you want or what your beliefs may be.

If it's just another 'one', then they will project back onto you, from what to them is 'normal' and acceptable in society. In the latter situation, allowing you to be authentic may be a challenge for them and they may be incapable of being supportive of your dreams and ambitions.

When we want to have the relationship of our dreams, we want that relationship to be honoring of our true-self, our authentic self. So, yes, by all means, test your Truths on the 'signs of land' that come your way.

And, set forth several intentions, so that you do not pollute your positive vibes or your self-confidence:

1 - Do not take anything personally. (Read Don Miguel Ruiz's The Four Agreements.)

Instead: I choose to accept only positive feedback into my life. All other comments, roll like water off a duck's back!

2 - Do not blame another or judge another for being who they are. If they project their fears and doubts onto you, remember it's their stuff - leave it with them.

Instead: I choose to accept people for who they are and where they are in their own personal path. I choose to allow others to have their opinions and I am willing to peacefully agree to disagree. I maintain my confidence and belief in myself, regardless of their opinions.

3 - Do not seek approval or validation to 'justify' your own worthiness or ability to 'create' success. No co-dependence allowed.

Instead: I choose to be inter-dependent and free from co-dependence. I am free to ask for what I want while being willing to be the primary provider of my own needs. I acknowledge that the only thoughts that matter are how I feel about myself. I choose absolute peace, joy, freedom, and confidence in me!

When our beliefs conflict with those we associate with, we have a choice. We can engage in the effort to convince them that our beliefs are the 'right' beliefs, we can acquiesce while internally disagreeing, or we can maintain our authentic knowing while agreeing to disagree.

When we want to attract a mate that really "gets us", then being authentic must be a top priority.

Additionally, being willing to simultaneously pull back when you feel their doubts interfering with your confidence can allow you to protect your vibration. Thus, maintaining a harmonious connection to what you want to attract at the same time as being authentic.

It's a delicate balance.. but very much, worth the forethought and effort!
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