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What I Miss About Being Single

By Shawn Wilson
Jan 28, 2009
I was at a get together with some girlfriends last week, and while we chatted, someone asked what it was about being single that we really missed. It was a tough question to answer because I've been married for over twenty five years, and quite honestly it's hard to remember back that far! However, after some reminiscing between my friends and I, here's what we came up with.

Alone time. We all agreed that time to ourselves is sadly missed, particularly for those of us with children still living at home. Time to just be by ourselves, not doing anything in particular. Those lazy Sundays that loomed with possibilities which we could choose to discard or pick up as was our want. Things like spending the day painting our nails and eating cheesecake, watching tear jerker chick flicks while leafing through trashy magazines, spending an hour soaking in the tub surrounded by two dozen candles and sipping a glass of chilled wine.

Spontaneous "girl" stuff - Not all of us, but most missed the opportunity to just pick and go do "girlie" stuff like window shopping on a Sunday after a leisurely brunch. Now that we're married there's always another person to consider when making plans. Even though most of us have time to do the things we want, it all has to be planned in advance.

Not being accountable. To anyone, for anything. We all missed the ability to spend what we wanted on whatever we wanted without having to explain ourselves. If we wanted to buy a car simply because it was cute and we liked the color, so be it. There was no guilt when splurging on a killer pair of high heels, or that to die for red dress. None of us really realized how wonderful this was until we no longer had that ability.

Dressing up, turning heads and LOVING it. Some of us are still able to turn heads, and we still love it. But we have to do so quietly, without returning the glances in kind. Not so much when we're out with other girlfriends, but when we're with our husbands, we have to behave as married women. That kind of discretion can take time to learn, as some of us have found out the hard way!

Having the bed to ourselves when we're sick. Truth be told, I still get the bed to myself when I'm sick. My husband just sleeps in another room, and I do the same when he's sick. Most of the group agreed that we were the exception rather than the rule.

Cleaning the house without actually having to clean anything. When I was single and living on m own, I did a pretty good job of tidying up as I went. Cleaning frenzies were unheard of since they were totally unnecessary. An hour once a week usually took care of the heavy duty stuff. An hour! I should be so lucky now.

Eating what we wanted when we wanted. Provided we ate a balanced diet, and even if we didn't, we miss being able to eat what we want when we want. If breakfast consisted of leftover pizza, so be it. If we had a pancake craving at eight o'clock at night then break out the butter and the maple syrup! A bowl of cereal for dinner was not unusual.

Even though there are things we definitely miss about being single, not one of us would trade our married lives for the single life for anything.
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