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Four Steps That Will Keep You On Track To Achieve Your Goals
The beginning of a year is the time when a lot of us set goals and objectives, determined, once again, to attend to the things that are most important to us. We hope that this time, we will stick to our plans.
Mostly we do not! We allow ourselves to be distracted, we lose focus, other things are given priority, and at the end of the year we look back in frustration at how little progress we have made.
Being able to say No when faced with a request to do something or help with something that is not in line with your own priorities is an important skill to acquire if you are really determined to reach your personal goals.
Can you say No?
Here is how you do it; in four steps.
1. Hear them out
The first step is to listen carefully to what the other person has requested and to acknowledge that you have heard. Ask questions to clarify exactly what is being asked of you. By listening and acknowledging, you reassure the person that you properly understand the request and its importance.
2. Buy time
We often say Yes because it is the easiest answer to a request for help or involvement. Next time you hear a question of the form; Can you help, or; Would you mind, listen to the request, then buy yourself time to think through the situation. This allows you to make a considered decision as to whether you can really afford to get involved.
How often have you said Yes to a request and then regretted it later when you have had time to think through the implications of what you agreed to?
You can buy time with a variety of phrases.
*I am not sure. Can I think it through first?
*I do not know if I can. Let me get back to you.
*This may not work for me. Let me see what I can do.
3. Consider your own position
Now that you have time, you can think through your own goals, priorities, and the personal resources available to you. What will be the consequences to you of agreeing to the request? Are there any implications, either in the short or long term, if you do not agree?
4. Give your decision
When you decide not to go along with a request, the key to giving your decision, is to provide your reasoning BEFORE you say No. This lets the other person see how you arrived at your decision. While they may prefer that you had agreed to their request, they are more likely to have respect for your decision when they can see how your reasoning worked.
These four steps:
*Hear them out
*Buy time
*Consider your own position
*Give your decision
can make the difference between achieving your goals or facing another year of frustration. Use the steps next time someone tries to push you into agreeing to help them meet their objectives at the expense of your own.
About the Author Maureen Collins trains people how to handle difficult conversations, on difficult topics, with difficult people in her consulting practice, Straight Talk. She has a B.Sc. degree in Psychology from Edinburgh University and over 25 years of consulting experience. She consults in communication in the workplace. In Straight Talk, Get free Straight Talk Tips. http://www.straight-talk.co.za
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