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How to Start a Conversation with a Guy

Aug 17, 2007
Being able to converse with anyone is a great communication skill to possess. Girls someone times really want to talk to a guy yet do not know what to do or say. You simply need to learn one skill which is widely adaptable to many situations and is not just useful for interacting with a guy.

To use this technique, all you do is pick up on what is going on in your surroundings. Preferably make it something the other person is aware of or would be aware of once you use it.

In the shopping scenario, the girl could use things like the place being busy or how hot the weather is.

Wait, I here you saying "this technique sucks". Yes, these examples are very boring and probably wouldn't be effective in the shopping scenario I'm talking about but they can still work when used in the right situation. This is a really simple conversational starter technique that in fact is so simple alot of people naturally use the situation around them as a conversation starter making the technique a bit mundane and ineffective.

To make better use of this technique, you need to use more indepth situational influences for effective conversational starters. These involve discussions on more unusual things about the situation and rely on your creativity.

The girl could ask the guy how to locate a specific store or item. She could ask him where he got his hat because she would like to buy one for her brother (you can lie about it ). Say the guy is 20 years old, she could ask him for his opinion on whether her 20 year old guy friend would like an item she thinks this new guy has an interest in. Very sneaky isn't it?

This leads onto your next problem of keeping the conversation going.

Keep Building Momentum

I know myself and other guys love to talk about themselves. Hey, it is only natural to talk about yourself because it's the easiest topic to talk about. You can harness and leverage this with the guy by asking good open-ended questions.

In the shopping scenario, say the girl started the conversation by asking the guy, "Excuse me. I'm after a basketball for my brother. I thought you would know a bit about it and was wondering what advice you could give me?" The girl would listen attentively using positive body language and showing other forms of interest in what the guy is saying. If he doesn't know much about basketballs, it doesn't really matter as she could then keep the conversation going by asking him "what things are you interested in then?"

She can increase her chances of keeping the conversation going by asking for his advice on an item she thinks would be of interest to him. She can guess what he's interested in by looking at his clothes, his friends, what he's currently doing, or anything else that is noticable. The girl may have asked him for his advice on buying a basketball because he was wearing a basketball jersey.

Having asked for his advice and listened attentively, she can keep the conversation going by building onto "branches" he created when talking. She can do this by asking saying something such as "Thanks. You do know a lot about basketballs. How did you get all this knowledge?" She can build a conversation about the item and branch out into related topics that she thinks the guy is interested in depending on his energy when speaking on the topic.

Depending on the girl's motives for wanting to talk to this guy, she could then divert towards her goals yet still keep what she saying relevant by saying something such "Oh thankyou. I asked because I saw you were wearing a jersey and you looked very athletic. I like that." Another sneaky technique for you girls!

If you do make a mistake and stuff up the conversation with him, don't worry about it. Use the reframing technique by saying things to yourself such as "I stuffed up and am now smarter for next time" or "I don't care. I'm the prize." You are reframing your mind to perceive the situation from a better point of view that is more healthy for well-being.

You now know how to start a conversation with a guy and how to keep it going. I hope you've enjoyed it and all that is left for you to do is to get out there and practice!
About the Author
Joshua Uebergang has provided you with a free guide to how to start a conversation with a guy here. You can also develop better conversation skills by visiting his blog.
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