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When You Do Performance Appraisals, Listen More Than You Talk
Managers often do most of the talking in performance appraisal discussions. They say employees gain by sharing in their experience and views. They say they know what the problems are and from their experience they also know the solutions. That may well be, but when you are talking there is little motivation for your employees to think for themselves or to be committed to action.
An employee has his feet on the ground. His view of a situation is, by definition, sharper and more accurate than yours. It is ironic that the people who make the most important decisions in an organisation are usually most distant from the action and know least about what is really happening. In performance appraisal discussions, concentrate on asking questions. Then listen.
We are all capable of listening and really hearing what is being said to us. But most of us have one or more bad listening habits that get in the way of our listening. How many of these are you guilty of?
You are a faker!
You smile, nod and seem to be making eye contact. But you are not concentrating on what is being said and your thoughts are far away. They are probably focused on what you want to say next. No matter how skilled you are at faking, others tend to know when they are being deceived and feel ignored and disrespected.
You interrupt!
You break in before the other person has finished speaking and you seldom ask any clarifying questions. You are more interested in what you have to say, than in what anyone else says.
You argue!
You listen just long enough to form a counter argument or disagreement. You argue when people offer information or opinions different from your own and when you think you know that they are incorrect.
You steal the spotlight!
You listen to what others say only long enough to jump in with your own story. You say things like: When I was, and: In my experience. How often do you hog the airspace in conversations? Do you always have a better story to tell, a better idea or your strongly held opinion to offer?
You give advice!
You always have an answer or a solution, which you give without waiting for others to offer ideas or opinions. People around you become used to your telling them what to do and soon stop thinking for themselves.
You listen with prejudice!
You fit others and what they say into boxes based on your generalisations and stereotypes. You tune out opinions and information that do not fit your preconceptions. You end up hearing more of what you are saying to yourself than to what others are saying to you.
All of these poor listening habits cause others to shut down, usually before you have obtained the information you need to hear. It can be difficult to listen patiently when you feel someone is incorrect, or is taking too long to explain their view.
Nevertheless, a performance appraisal interview is your chance to get in touch with the detail of what is happening on the ground and to gain insight through the experiences and ideas of your people. Listening patiently, and showing that you are interested, is the
only way you can make the conversation safe for others to speak up.
Keep it simple. Start with: Tell me about. Then listen. You might be amazed at what you hear!
About the Author Maureen Collins trains people how to handle difficult conversations, on difficult topics, with difficult people in her consulting practice, Straight Talk. She has a B.Sc. degree in Psychology from Edinburgh University and over 25 years of consulting experience. She consults in communication in the workplace. Go to http://www.straight-talk.co.za for free downloads and Straight Talk Tips.
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