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Are You on the Road to Unfaithfulness?
In 2008, Gallup did a poll in America about unfaithfulness. The results of that poll showed that more than half of adults personally know somebody whose husband or wife had cheated on them. Studies show that up to 20% of men and up to 12% of women cheat on their significant others. Which means that cheating is almost doubly prevalent in men than it is in women.
People in relationships --whether they be men or women-- stray from their partners for different reasons. Unfortunately, though, not all men who cheat realize that they're on the road to being unfaithful. The choices they make to get them there happen slowly, and they happen one by one. And before they know it, they're being unfaithful to a spouse or partner.
If you want to stay on the road to faithfulness, it's important to periodically check the road signs along the way to assure that you're making the right choices. Read of for a few warning signs that you may be straying off the road a bit further than you think.
You have trouble connecting. Genetically, we all react to sex and love in different ways. And studies have shown that a small portion of men are biologically programmed to feel less bonding with and affection for the women they sleep with. These men, who are affected this way because of the way a chemical called vasopressin is used in the brain, are up to two times as likely to cheat as men without this particular programming. Which means they really have to have their guard up.
You don't think about what you have. When they have the opportunity to cheat, many men don't take the time to do a real risk analysis about what cheating would mean for their relationship. The opportunity arises, and they take it without giving too much thought to the consequences. But if you want to avoid this happening in your own relationship, you need to take the time to analyze that risk ahead of time-- before that opportunity to cheat comes up. Imagine now what would happen if you cheated on your wife or girlfriend with some hot thing just "looking for fun" you met on an internet dating site.
How would you feel about it afterwards when looking into your significant other's face? What would happen to your life if she found out? If you already have a set idea of what the risks and rewards are before the opportunity to cheat ever arises, the chances of you taking that opportunity are hugely lessened.
You don't act "taken." One of the reasons why women tend to be more faithful to their partners than men is their tendency to act as if they're "taken." Here's an example. When attached men are given examples of attractive people of the opposite sex, they gravitate towards them. Attached women, on the other hand, tend to avoid them-- the women are not available, and so they're not interested, either. Before an attached woman even interacts with somebody they may otherwise have been interested in, she will come up with a defensive plan to keep her relationship safe.
Men, however, don't do this. So if you worry that you'll stray, you need to work on being more like a woman when it comes to attractive members of the opposite sex-- instead of gravitating towards them, think of yourself as "taken" and take the proper steps to protect your relationship instead of allowing an outside influence to harm it. So the next time you're out drinking with your friends, go off to the bathroom when a pretty girl walks up to chat with you instead of staying in your seat to stare at her breasts. Avoiding temptation is a large part of what staying faithful is about.
You don't get what you need. People enter committed relationships for more than just sex and reproduction. They look for something else in the people they date-- somebody to test them and help them grow. But if your relationship is stagnating in this area, it'll be much more likely for you to stray and look for this (and other) stimulation elsewhere.
If you find this --or any other sense of dissatisfaction, such as with your sex life-- to be true of your relationship, it's up to you to take steps to fix it. You can't sit back and wait for her to see what you're feeling and make a change.
Want to be tested and forced to grow? You have to do the same for her. Want your sex life to improve? Then you have to talk about it in a mature, level-headed way. Relationships live and thrive on excitement, on growth, on new experiences. If those things stagnate, you'll be far more likely to search for your thrill elsewhere. And lose your otherwise-great relationship while you're at it.
About the Author This article was written by Shawn Wilson, a member of the customer support team at Datepad, where we always offer free internet dating. Datepad has a massive directory of informative free dating articles along with a great list of dating site reviews on our dating blog.
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