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How to Approach a Woman: A Guide for 30-Plus Men

Aug 17, 2007
When a man reaches his thirties, he is on an entirely different playing field and many of the old tricks and techniques he used with women will not be appropriate.

For instance, picking up women at bars may no longer be his cup of tea. He would probably fare better meeting women in more refined places, such as the gym or fitness classes, museums, the local coffee shop, bookstores, house parties and weddings.

The way he approaches women has to be refined as well.

Certainly, he has to maintain his swagger and his confidence must be beyond doubt. But being cute and coy will no longer suit him or work for him (if they ever did).

Here's a short guide to how a 30-plus single man can approach a woman with style and self-assurance.

(1) Avoid pickup lines
"Wow, your body is a wonderland, and I want to be Alice and run around all over you," is an actual line used by a man in his mid-thirties and it should be avoided at all costs.

He should have been above such a line and so should all 30-plus males. As a general rule, don't use pick-up lines. They will rarely work and will often just get you laughed at by the object of your affections.

(2) Just be yourself
Instead of using a lame pick-up line, why not just be honest and be yourself. That's the way a gentleman does it. Simply walk over and introduce yourself.

(3) Ask questions
Part of being yourself is asking questions so ask about stuff that she finds interesting. "What do you do for a living?" is a good question.

However, don't pry into private stuff. For starters, keep it safe and simple so you don't scare her away.

(4) Listen
Make sure that you show interest when she answers your questions. You do this by listening intently and asking follow-up questions. This kind of interest suggests that you're really a nice guy, thoughtful, sincere and genuinely interested in her.

(5) Volunteer information
Being a good conversationalist is a two-way street. You not only ask questions and listen to her answers, you have to provide personal information as well. If you ask about her work, make sure you tell her about yours. Next thing you know, she will feel she's known you for some time, and that's not a bad thing.

(5) Ask someone to introduce you
Having someone introduce you to her always puts women at ease right away and makes for a good first impression. At the very least, it tells her that your mutual acquaintance trusts you enough to introduce you to her. It means you're a good guy. Where you go from there is up to you.

(6) Swap contact info
If she's reluctant to give her phone number, you can ask for her email address and she will appreciate that. If she doesn't give you either, leave her your phone number anyway. Do it casually, like writing your Mobile number on the back of a business card. There's nothing wrong with that. And if she doesn't call, you have many more business cards to give away so move on.
About the Author
Aussie Online Dating expert Jodie Brittain, runs Slinky Dating - the Online Dating site for Australians only.

Drop by Slinky (http://slinky.com.au) and join up for FREE, and while you're there, check out the great Dating Profile Tips put together to help you get started.

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