Home » Arts and Entertainment » Humor

What's A Sure Cure For Pigging Out?

Aug 17, 2007
Vegetating doesn't make you a vegetarian. I know. I've been a non-flesh eater for over twenty years. I'm not the Noah of nourishment, trying to save the animals. I can't digest animal protein, so it's my way to help my leather-wearing self feel better about what I eat.

Being a necessary life change, however, didn't make it an easy one. I had to bite the bullet with teeth scientists say prove humans are meant to be herbivores and go cold turkey - so to speak.

Although my husband thought it would be a passing phase - like aroma therapy or psychic readings - my sons were supportive. Okay, they were supportive as soon as they realized they wouldn't have to eat liver again.

When cooking, I no longer throw the bull, get my goose cooked or consider the meat of the matter. Eating out is different. Then the men in my family turn into "wherewolves", as in where can they get their animal protein fix.

Chinese, Indian, Italian and Thai are all vegetarian-friendly cuisines; and going to a steak house doesn't have to be a mi-stake. I can make a meal of side dishes or have potato and salad. Worse case scenario, I can ask for extra olives in my martini.

Many people think being a vegetarian requires unappetizing self-discipline. It doesn't. The versatility of vegetables literally runs the gamut from soup to nuts. It's parsnips, rutabagas and turnips that give being a vegetarian a bad name.

Of course, the pale, tattooed, body-pierced , multicolored-haired cashiers in health food stores don't improve the image. The good news is their appearances aren't caused by a deficiency in animal protein.

Soy beans are the vegetarians' protein. These beans can be turned into burgers, cheese - even ice cream. They can be turned into tofu for stir fries, curries and kebobs. Happily, they haven't turned my family into meal-time mutineers.

No carnivore should feel sorry for me. I'm not missing food that tastes good; I'm missing cholesterol-laden food that isn't good. As for things that really taste good - cakes and cookies are vegetarian.

We recently gave a cocktail party at which all the hors d'oeuvres were meatless - bruschetta, mini wild mushroom pizzas, won tons stuffed with red pepper relish and avocado, pastry shells filled with pear and Gruyere cheese. There was no reason for the hostess to be on the lamb.

All the guests, whom I'm sure were expecting less-than-succulent, stereotypical, raw vegetable trays, were deliciously surprised. Vegetarians have no trouble participating in the world of carnivores. We even meat new friends.
About the Author
KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life.
Take a minute to make yourself smile at
http://knightwatch.typepad.com
Rating:
Please Rate:
(Average: Not rated)
Views: 147
Print Email Report Share
Article Categories
    • Classic Cars
    • Motorcycles
    • Recreational Vehicles
    • SUVs
    • Trucks
    • Vans
    • Branding
    • Business Opportunities
    • Careers and Jobs
    • Corporate
    • Customer Service
    • Direct Mail
    • Entrepreneurship
    • Ethics
    • Financing
    • Franchising
    • Home-Based Business
    • Human Resources
    • Import and Export
    • Leadership
    • Management
    • Market Research
    • Marketing and Advertising
    • Negotiation
    • Network Marketing
    • Networking
    • Organizational
    • Presentation
    • Project Management
    • Public Relations
    • Small Business
    • Strategic Planning
    • Team Building
    • Telemarketing
    • Training
    • Data Recovery
    • Databases
    • Games
    • Hardware
    • Networks
    • Operating Systems
    • Programming
    • Security
    • Software
    • Spyware and Viruses
    • Ask an Expert
    • College and University
    • Home Schooling
    • K-12
    • Languages
    • Online Education
    • Psychology
    • Accounting
    • Credit
    • Currency Trading
    • Debt Consolidation
    • Insurance
    • Investing
    • Leasing
    • Loans
    • Mortgage
    • Mutual Funds
    • Personal Finance
    • Stock Market
    • Structured Settlements
    • Taxes
    • Wealth Building
    • Coffee
    • Cooking
    • Gourmet
    • Recipes
    • Wine and Spirits
    • Acne
    • Aerobics
    • Alternative Medicine
    • Beauty
    • Cancer
    • Cosmetics
    • Depression
    • Diabetes
    • Diseases and Conditions
    • Fitness Equipment
    • Fitness
    • Hair Loss
    • Heart Disease
    • Medicine
    • Men's Health
    • Muscle Building
    • Nutrition
    • Skin Care
    • Supplements and Vitamins
    • Weight Loss
    • Women's Health
    • Yoga
    • Arts and Crafts
    • Babies
    • Collecting
    • Elderly Care
    • Genealogy
    • Hobbies
    • Parenting
    • Pets
    • Pregnancy
    • Woodworking
    • Feng Shui
    • Gardening
    • Home Appliances
    • Home Security
    • Interior Design
    • Landscaping
    • Affiliate Programs
    • Article Marketing
    • Auctions
    • Audio
    • Banner Advertising
    • Blogging
    • Broadband
    • Domain Names
    • E-Books
    • E-Commerce
    • Email Marketing
    • Ezines and Newsletters
    • Forums
    • Internet Marketing
    • Link Popularity
    • Pay-Per-Click
    • Podcasting
    • RSS
    • Search Engine Marketing
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Security
    • Social Media
    • Spam
    • Video
    • Viral Marketing
    • Web Design
    • Web Development
    • Web Hosting
    • Copyright
    • Cyber Law
    • Intellectual Property
    • National, State, Local
    • Patents
    • Regulatory Compliance
    • Trademarks
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Baseball
    • Basketball
    • Boating
    • Cycling
    • Extreme Sports
    • Fishing
    • Football
    • Golf
    • Hockey
    • Hunting
    • Martial Arts
    • Running
    • Scuba Diving
    • Soccer
    • Swimming
    • Tennis
    • Dating
    • Divorce
    • Marriage
    • Weddings
    • Astrology
    • Buddhism
    • Christianity
    • Faith
    • Hinduism
    • Islam
    • Judaism
    • Meditation
    • Metaphysical
    • New Age
    • Cable and Satellite TV
    • Cell Phones
    • Communication
    • Gadgets and Gizmos
    • GPS
    • Satellite Radio
    • Video Conferencing
    • VoIP
    • Addictions
    • Coaching
    • Goal Setting
    • Motivational
    • Stress Management
    • Time Management
    • Clothing
    • Electronics
    • Fashion
    • Gifts
    • Jewelry
    • Causes and Organizations
    • Environment
    • History
    • Holidays
    • Men's Issues
    • Nature
    • Philosophy
    • Politics
    • Women's Issues
    • World Affairs
    • Air Travel
    • Camping
    • Cruises
    • Destinations
    • Outdoors
    • Article Writing
    • Book Reviews
    • Copywriting
    • Fiction
    • Non-Fiction
    • Poetry
    • Quotes
    • Screenplay
    • Tools and Resources