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Getting What You Want (Instead of Doing What You Have To)
So far, at 12 days into it, having a baby is a big adventure, and is so much about living in the moment - it's difficult to plan for things when you don't know if your little one will wake up to eat or need a change.
It's been a beautiful lesson about embracing the preciousness and mystery of each moment as it happens, without looking to much to the future or worrying about the past. I invite you to join me and Penina in this lesson of living in the moment...and enjoy all that you have!
In 1921, Stanford University began studying children who had genius level IQs. They discovered that IQ or intelligence is not the most vital element for success. Rather, it is self-confidence, perseverance, and an inclination to set goals. In other words, the simple act of acknowledging and defining what we want to accomplish is more important to success in life than even a high IQ.
But goals are sometimes difficult to attain. And other times, they don't feel satisfying once we accomplish them. Perhaps that's because we often make our goals things we have to get done, instead of things we want to accomplish. There is no excitement, motivation or passion in a "have to"!! There is nothing compelling about a "have to".
Perhaps if we could shift our ideas of goals from obligations into wishes - into dreams, limitless possibilities for ourselves and the world - we would have a much better chance of achieving our goals because we would be inspired and compelled to do so.
The best way I have learned to dream up new futures and exciting possibilities is by setting aside my fears (fears of not being successful, not having enough time, not having enough money, on and on... ) and asking myself what my heart truly desires.
So often, our fears prevent us from even recognizing what it is we really want. So, just for a moment, let go of the nay-saying voice inside of you, and dream big. Perhaps after that, you might re-adjust your wish so that it becomes realistic within the resources you have. Or perhaps... it doesn't need any re-adjusting at all!
And then you'll have a goal that's not only compelling and worth pursuing, but that will feel satisfying and good once you achieve it.
Journaling Questions to Uncover your True Desire
1. What goals or priorities in your life right now are "have to"s, obligations, or expectations of others?
2. What goals or priorities in your life right now drain your energy, leaving you tired or upset?
3. Take a moment and put aside fears about time and money. In your wildest dreams, what do you want to accomplish in your life?
4. Again, put aside fears about time and money for a moment. What's something that you want to do, that you haven't even fully admitted to yourself?
Prioritizing Your Life
Thinking about your priorities: it's easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle and lose track of what's REALLY important, what's really most precious to our hearts. Prioritizing your needs will help you establish and honor priorities in your life.
I find that many of the women I coach enlist my services because they aren't living the life that they really want to live. When we begin to look into that together, we often find that their priorities do not match how they spend their actual time. If you are not spending your time and your days according to what's most important to you, chances are you will end up feeling harried, unsatisfied, and disappointed with your life.
For example, if your number one priority is spending time with your family, but you spend 50+ hours per week at the office, your life does not reflect your priorities. Or, if you highly value spending time in nature, but instead focus a lot of energy and time on social obligations, then you are likely feeling drained and unsatisfied.
Life is busy, and it can be easy for us to lose control of how we spend our time. As women, we have many obligations. Yet, how we spend our time is the essence of our lives. It's crucially important for us to tap into our inner wisdom to remember our priorities and our values so that we can design our lives around those priorities to feel satisfied and energized.
About the Author Joanna Lindenbaum, M.A., has 12 years of teaching and coaching experience. She invites women to think bigger, to embrace their power, to create compelling and exciting goals. Her clients achieve extraordinary success in business, career, and life. www.soulfulcoach.com
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