Home » Arts and Entertainment » Humor

Another Blond Joke?

Aug 17, 2007
I'm a blond by choice. Do I have more fun? I'm not sure, but I know I have more salon appointments.

Some days I feel blonder than others. One day I couldn't start my car because the shift wasn't in park. Another day I couldn't find my glasses because they were on top of my head.

Because I'm blond, people love to tell me blond jokes. Have you heard the one about the blond who tried to steal the police car? Because it said 911 on the back she thought it was a Porsche. Then there's the one about the blond watching the Super Bowl. She thought a quarterback was a refund.

When I have an Alex Haley day - a euphemism for my roots showing - I don't think God should have rested on the seventh day. He could have used that time to make me a natural blond.

Because he didn't, my husband had to ask to be married to a blond - again. Although that could be interpreted as a "dumb" request, it was easy to oblige.

What wasn't easy was my first attempt at hair coloring. I was a teenager - a teenager with dark blond hair and thus not able to fully understand the directions on the box. My hair turned new-penny copper; and according to my shocked mother, it wasn't a lucky penny look.

My mother's hair was professionally lightened. Her stylist said it would be more flattering. That was a tactful way of saying dark hair looks like a frame around wrinkled canvas.

When Senator Clinton risked looking wrinkled by darkening her hair, I knew she was running for president. She thought being linked to dumb blonds was a bigger risk - a risk her husband, however, has been willing to take.

Frankly, I think blonds are better at communication. Recently I requested help with a widget - yes, I know what a widget is! I explained in my e-mail my confusion could be due to my blondness. A succinct, clear explanation in predominantly one-syllable words was quickly e-mailed back. The sender empathized with my condition because she was blond too.

When it comes to blonds, it's Webster's Dictionary that's confused. It says blond can be spelled "blonde". Now how blond is that?

If you don't want to feel blond, remember what this blond said, "When you can't find something, it's always in the last place you look".
About the Author
KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life.
Take a minute to make yourself smile at
http://knightwatch.typepad.com
Rating:
Please Rate:
(Average: Not rated)
Views: 155
Print Email Report Share
Article Categories
    • Classic Cars
    • Motorcycles
    • Recreational Vehicles
    • SUVs
    • Trucks
    • Vans
    • Branding
    • Business Opportunities
    • Careers and Jobs
    • Corporate
    • Customer Service
    • Direct Mail
    • Entrepreneurship
    • Ethics
    • Financing
    • Franchising
    • Home-Based Business
    • Human Resources
    • Import and Export
    • Leadership
    • Management
    • Market Research
    • Marketing and Advertising
    • Negotiation
    • Network Marketing
    • Networking
    • Organizational
    • Presentation
    • Project Management
    • Public Relations
    • Small Business
    • Strategic Planning
    • Team Building
    • Telemarketing
    • Training
    • Data Recovery
    • Databases
    • Games
    • Hardware
    • Networks
    • Operating Systems
    • Programming
    • Security
    • Software
    • Spyware and Viruses
    • Ask an Expert
    • College and University
    • Home Schooling
    • K-12
    • Languages
    • Online Education
    • Psychology
    • Accounting
    • Credit
    • Currency Trading
    • Debt Consolidation
    • Insurance
    • Investing
    • Leasing
    • Loans
    • Mortgage
    • Mutual Funds
    • Personal Finance
    • Stock Market
    • Structured Settlements
    • Taxes
    • Wealth Building
    • Coffee
    • Cooking
    • Gourmet
    • Recipes
    • Wine and Spirits
    • Acne
    • Aerobics
    • Alternative Medicine
    • Beauty
    • Cancer
    • Cosmetics
    • Depression
    • Diabetes
    • Diseases and Conditions
    • Fitness Equipment
    • Fitness
    • Hair Loss
    • Heart Disease
    • Medicine
    • Men's Health
    • Muscle Building
    • Nutrition
    • Skin Care
    • Supplements and Vitamins
    • Weight Loss
    • Women's Health
    • Yoga
    • Arts and Crafts
    • Babies
    • Collecting
    • Elderly Care
    • Genealogy
    • Hobbies
    • Parenting
    • Pets
    • Pregnancy
    • Woodworking
    • Feng Shui
    • Gardening
    • Home Appliances
    • Home Security
    • Interior Design
    • Landscaping
    • Affiliate Programs
    • Article Marketing
    • Auctions
    • Audio
    • Banner Advertising
    • Blogging
    • Broadband
    • Domain Names
    • E-Books
    • E-Commerce
    • Email Marketing
    • Ezines and Newsletters
    • Forums
    • Internet Marketing
    • Link Popularity
    • Pay-Per-Click
    • Podcasting
    • RSS
    • Search Engine Marketing
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Security
    • Social Media
    • Spam
    • Video
    • Viral Marketing
    • Web Design
    • Web Development
    • Web Hosting
    • Copyright
    • Cyber Law
    • Intellectual Property
    • National, State, Local
    • Patents
    • Regulatory Compliance
    • Trademarks
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Baseball
    • Basketball
    • Boating
    • Cycling
    • Extreme Sports
    • Fishing
    • Football
    • Golf
    • Hockey
    • Hunting
    • Martial Arts
    • Running
    • Scuba Diving
    • Soccer
    • Swimming
    • Tennis
    • Dating
    • Divorce
    • Marriage
    • Weddings
    • Astrology
    • Buddhism
    • Christianity
    • Faith
    • Hinduism
    • Islam
    • Judaism
    • Meditation
    • Metaphysical
    • New Age
    • Cable and Satellite TV
    • Cell Phones
    • Communication
    • Gadgets and Gizmos
    • GPS
    • Satellite Radio
    • Video Conferencing
    • VoIP
    • Addictions
    • Coaching
    • Goal Setting
    • Motivational
    • Stress Management
    • Time Management
    • Clothing
    • Electronics
    • Fashion
    • Gifts
    • Jewelry
    • Causes and Organizations
    • Environment
    • History
    • Holidays
    • Men's Issues
    • Nature
    • Philosophy
    • Politics
    • Women's Issues
    • World Affairs
    • Air Travel
    • Camping
    • Cruises
    • Destinations
    • Outdoors
    • Article Writing
    • Book Reviews
    • Copywriting
    • Fiction
    • Non-Fiction
    • Poetry
    • Quotes
    • Screenplay
    • Tools and Resources