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What is Needed for a Successful Marriage

Aug 17, 2007
Marriages are crumbling in America. There are many reasons why marriages are failing and it would be impossible to name all of those reasons here. Times are changing and people's concept of marriage has changed. Some people are waking up to the fact that they were probably better off single. Some chose an incompatible mate but chose to have a family and stayed with their mates. Many people chose to be married but live separate lives. Whatever the case, marriages are definitely on the rocks.

The family unit is giving into the pressures of society as far as how relationships are. On television, most families are characterized as being schizophrenic, sex crazed or having serious problems with extended family members. This has an effect on American society in which television has distorted what the family should be striving for which is an element of understanding, harmony or peace.

What has really did damage to marriages is the fact that parts of the civilized world has defined marriage as the woman wanting to be secure (home, possessions and security) while the man provides these things. Women are waking up and providing these things for themselves, making decisions for them, which according to patriarchal rules, is a no-no. So most women are choosing to be single and most men are not committing because of various factors. Society is changing as far as marriage is concerned.

Most marriages are breaking up because of not understanding the purpose of the other individual. People want to expand their horizons of self worth within marriage and because of traditional rules that were made up to keep relationships subject able, many people are escaping that mentality of slavery in any kind of relationship.

So if you are married, there are several things that you must do to create an atmosphere of harmony between you and your spouse and here are some of those elements to make your marriage a happy marriage.

1. Create a portal in which your mate can explore her/his real life passion.

This is very important. Even within a marriage, each person is an individual. You should help your mate accomplish their individual goals.

2. Give your mate plenty of room to grow and experience life.

Just because you are married does not mean that it has to turn into a prison. Let your mate do the things that they need to do to make them happy.

3. Make sure that your mate has significant time to themselves to think about their life purpose.

This is important. Everyone needs a time for reflection so provide your mate with those private times that he/she needs to get their mental and spiritual thoughts together.

Marriage and Family Counseling - Really Important!

Marriage and Family Counseling is important. Marriage and Family counselors help couples work out their problems to develop a system of love, trust and oneness in a relationship. Counselors can dig and see the root cause of the problem and recommend a solution for the ills and challenges of the couple or family. Marriage and family counselors are mental health professionals who bring a family perspective to a person, couple or organization. They treat families, mental, emotional and various health and behavior problems.

If you have children, it is great to have them as a part of the program since they are a part of the family. Marriage counseling considers peripheral characters, such as the Mother-in-Law, Father-In-Law, other relatives and the effects that they have on the marriage. This is accomplished via personality interviews with extended family members.

Marriage counseling brings out controversial issues. It could be some elements of a spouse's past that are hidden which affect the relationship deeply. Many of these issues can stop a marriage cold, such as incest, rape of a relative and abuse in a previous marriage. When problems like this occur, marriage therapy is truly needed to solve the problem. If your mate agrees, then this is one way to improve your marriage or else, the misery will continue.

Creating Fields of Love with Marriage

Many married couples are always confrontational because they can not forgive and forget. Some couples never recover from the problems in a relationship but choose to stay the course while being totally miserable with the choices that they made. They stop romancing each other and doing the things that allowed the relationship to flourish in the first place.

If you seek the professional help of a marriage counselor, they can provide a battery of tests and evaluate to study, comprehend and obtain new solutions for helping couples in their marriage. Most individuals resign themselves to live under a roof of controversy and loudness. This is detrimental to people who have families. Counseling is great and can heal the wounds of a person, family or extended family. Counseling can focus on brief, solution-focused, family-centered treatment which is center towards the cause of problems in your marriage instead of the symptoms. If you are married, you might want to consider this kind of treatment to resolve your problems.

Recognizing Certain Problems in Marriages

These issues are widely known to cause problems in marriages:

- Families facing severe mental illnesses and emotional disorders, such as schizophrenia and depression.

Many marriages have to take on the extra responsibility of a loved one or parent coming down with an illness. Sometimes, this causes pressure on one or both people in the relationship and can be financially taxing. The trend is to put that person in a nursing home or facility that can treat their disorder but a married couple can turn these kinds of situations into gold if they plan correctly and realize that not all is bad. This could actually enhance and help the marriage if looked at from a proper perspective.

- Substance abuse

A big problem in marriages is when a husband or wife has a drinking problem. Substance abuse can lead to spousal abuse. It can also cause children to become upset and carry memories of abuse for a long time. This issue has been studied for years and now, local governments are implementing free programs for spouses that have a problem with substance abuse to get help.

Marriage can be a good deal if you really work at respecting each other and love each others purpose.
About the Author
Joshua Uebergang is owner of Free-Relationship-Advice.org where he teaches people free relationship advice online. You can also get more advice for a successful marriage. He has a free newsletter on relationships you can signup to where you'll get a special bonus.
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