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Are You Falling for the Guilt Trips?

Aug 17, 2007
Guilt. It surrounds a mother's day pretty much no matter the choices she makes. Work outside the home? Negligent. Stay at home? Lazy.

And it just keeps coming.

No matter what you do, sometimes you have to make compromises. You may have to work outside the home so that your family has enough to eat and a roof over their heads. Or it may just keep you sane. Despite what some may say, this is not a bad thing!

That's a point where I disagree with many of my fellow stay at home moms. Many feel a mother should stay at home if at all possible. I agree, but my definition of possible includes mom's sanity.

Frankly, I think there are more important things for a mother to worry about than whether or not her choices meet with everyone else's approval. Doing the best you can for your family in your own way is far more important.

Of course, that also means I don't approve of working mothers looking down at stay at home moms. It's real work, trust me!

One of the most important things any parent can do is to find the right balance for your family. Make enough time to be a family, without any distractions.

For the working mother, that means making sure to have enough time at home when the kids are awake. Don't take calls relating to your job, and take the time to relax and enjoy your family. Same goes for the work at home mom.

For all moms, this means turn off the computer and the television set. You might even consider turning off all cell phones and letting the answering machine screen calls on the regular phone. Leave the laundry, dishes and other chores alone for a few hours. It won't make that much of a difference if you get to them a little later.

Decide on something your family can do together. Try for doing something special together at least a couple times a month, if not weekly or even daily. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. Playing a board game together for an hour is good. Going out for a family hike. Taking the entire day out once in a while.

It doesn't have to be the same thing every time. Allow for a little creativity.

One of the great things about making time for your family is that it's one of the few things you can do and not feel like someone is going to call you a poor parent. But better yet is the fun your family has and the memories you build.
About the Author
Stephanie Foster runs http://www.homewiththekids.com/ as a resource for stay at home moms. Her site offers a variety of resources for the stay at home mom .
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