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Is It Plane, Plain Or Pain?

Aug 17, 2007
As a child traveling by plane was exciting, but somewhere between then and now it turned into plain travel and plain travel turned into pain travel.

Of course, if it's hard for you to meet people, air travel's for you. The cramped seating conditions provide you an opportunity to be close to two other people in your row, as well as three people in the row in front of you and three in the row behind you.

Stepping on toes when you leave your row, spilling a drink when you move in your seat or dislodging something when you open the overhead compartment are just three of the many ways to get to know these eight people.

Hopefully, you all listen to the flight attendant's description of the plane's safety features - although I don't think it's necessary to describe the flotation devices when flying between Los Angeles and Las Vegas.

Headsets, however, are always necessary - whether rented or purchased. Even if I don't listen to music or watch the movie to pass time, wearing a headset is like wearing a Do Not Disturb sign.

In-flight shopping also helps pass time. I know it helped my father because my son received a pedal plane and I know it helped my uncle because I received a wine making kit. If men voluntarily shop when they are five miles in the air, stores should send catalogs to the space station.

Eating helps pass time too. I remember when there was a choice of meals. Then it was picnic boxes. Now it's BYOF or buy snacks that must be provided and priced by local movie theaters.

Freshening up in the lavatory helps use up time, but I must be the only one who reads the sign asking passengers to leave the lavatory clean for the next passenger. I have to clean up the mess left by the previous passenger so the next passenger won't think I left the mess.

To avoid the mess at baggage carousels my husband wants us to pack everything we need for every trip in carry-on luggage. Maybe we could do that if we were going to the Garden of Eden.

No matter where you go, the airlines brag when they get you there on time. When I was a preteen, I bragged when I looked good in a sweater. Arrival times are just as padded as my bras were.
About the Author
KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life.
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http://knightwatch.typepad.com
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