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How Do I Date Online Successfully?

Aug 17, 2007
How do you date online successfully? How do you date online? How do you know who you are talking to is really who they are? Let me help you with online dating and guide you to success.

You know what I love about online dating? It filters out exactly what you are looking for in a person down to your last desire. If you do not get what you want right away, sit back and wait a week or two as more and more people come and go.

Another great thing about online dating and matchmaking is the ability to remain anonymous for as long as you like. You can take your time and develop an online communication with someone before you take that next step.

Let me give you a bit of advice on getting started. Be selective on the services available. There are many out there. When it comes to online dating and matchmaking, you get what you pay for. So, the best piece of advice I can give you here is to choose one that is known and is reputable.

To get started, you must build a profile. Be honest. You should talk about what you love in life and what you hate. Be extreme. Be blunt but not abrasive. This is no easy task because you are attempting to put who you are into words. Some of the greatest writers have difficulties doing this.

A good tip in writing a nice profile is to have a friend or someone who knows you review it. Ask them for an honest opinion. Find out if you have forgotten anything or maybe stressed too much on a certain topic.

It does not even hurt to request assistance in writing your profile. Sometimes, an outside perspective can put more accurate and descriptive information in text than you can do yourself.

One final item that is a must for a profile is a picture. A lot of people are very nervous about this. Why would a person be nervous? Well, the idea of others finding out about your online dating endeavor could be embarrassing. Maybe you believe that, but that is likely very far from the truth.

People will most likely envy your courage. Talk to them about what you are doing and why you are doing it. You may find an ally in the online search for a soul mate.

Now, the picture should never be one of those Glamour Shots you run to the mall and get. This is not a true representation of you. I recommend a nice picture of a nice smile. It should be simple. Do not put pictures of you and friends/ pets/ family or anybody else. It should be you; solo.

Now, push the submit button and browse. Do not rush. Online dating is similar to actual dating. As a matter of fact, it will lead to actual dating. The nice part is that you will not waste a bunch of time sifting through people you know absolutely nothing about. The dating service will help sift through the database and align you with someone compatible.

When you get your first match, you will undoubtedly be filled with excitement. Relax, and read their profile thoroughly. It would be wise to read it several times. Now, do not respond just yet. Often times, when our emotions are acting, we make decisions that are not aligned with how we commonly believe and feel.

Sleep on it.

The following day, wait for a quiet time when you can concentrate in a relaxing fashion. Sit down at the computer with you favorite beverage. I would advise against alcohol as it tends to alter our thoughts a bit. Get comfortable and write a hello to your new match.

Be complimentary on their profile but do not over do it. You are not a salesman/ saleswoman. You are not trying to win this person. Remember; be honest with yourself and your matches from the start. I cannot emphasize this enough.

Highlight topics that you and your match share. Go into a bit more detail about these items with your match. These are things that will bring you together and it will compile topics into which you two can dive during the online courtship and even more so, when and if you meet in person.

Now, this next step is as important as highlighting what you have in common. If there is anything that sticks out in the profile of your match, you should also get this on the table. In a courteous manner, bring it up to your match. Explain that this item is something that you may take issue with.

This may seem difficult. Remember, you do not even know this person. The worst thing that could happen is the interaction stop here. That would be so much better than working hard on something for months with that pesky dislike in the back of your mind and it creep out and destroy everything. Again, get it on the table right away. But, be nice.

Now, if this difference is such a big deal that you cannot see getting passed it, do not begin a line of communication with this person. Again, there is no need to become involved when you absolutely know that there are items that cannot be overlooked. Do not be afraid to explain this to your match. Always be honest, blunt and polite.

Once you find that match that everything seems to be perfect and things seem to be going great in your online courtship, take a step back. You do not want to rush these things. Relax and enjoy the communication. But, do not speed into a meeting for a few months.

I would not think this would happen often, but it does tend to happen on occasion. There are people that will write their profiles and formulate their communication to suit other people. They may not intend harm in this, but it will be harmful to a relationship. Honesty is very important.

The only way for you to learn about a person is through a good amount of time and communication. Do not make the mistake of convincing yourself that this person seems so perfect. I assure you, they are not.

Time has so many answers secreted within it. Use the Internet barrier to your advantage. Take a few days off from interacting with your online match. Do not just disappear. Tell them that you are going to take a computer break that you promised yourself to catch up on some things that you need to do. Then, stick to it.

This will give some time for the "high" of romance and relations to settle a bit and for you to evaluate what is going on. Again, relax and enjoy all the little steps involved in getting to know someone. This goes well for online dating as well as face to face dating.

Now that you are back with your feet on the ground, continue your correspondence. Give the relationship a few months, even three before you plan an actual date. If your match is over anxious, then explain why you want to take your time. You want to learn more about them. Explain how valuable you the process of communicating can be. Be leery if they become to pushy or agitated. You may be seeing some "real" traits of your match.

Well, if the courtship with your match goes on for a few months, then it is time to meet him/ her. I am going to stop here as the focus of this article is on the actual dating online. When you have reached the meeting point, you are on your own. Good luck.
About the Author
William Doggett is a straight shooting life coach. His in-depth studies and life experience has given him the knowledge, sense and humor to enjoy life in ever aspect. Take a look at his matchmaking website at www.eharmony.empire-cole.com .
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