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Develop Winning People Skills The Smart Way

Aug 17, 2007
There is a common mistake many people make when they want to improve their people skills. You may even make the same mistake at times without noticing.

This mistake involves focusing so much on your apparent weaknesses that you neglect your strengths and weaken yourself even further. Self improvement then becomes a painful introspective experience that never improves your life.

How to know if you make this mistake...

Are you overly aware of your so called weaknesses while tending to ignore all of the things you do so well? Do you worry too much about all the little things you cannot do and forget about how much you have already grown?

It is easy to take for granted what comes naturally to you. And, very easy, to discount the value of personal qualities that are second nature to you.

For example, let us say you are quiet, sensitive and thoughtful. These are very positive traits depending on the context.

You are likely to be a good listener, great at reading others and quick to spot changes in relationship dynamics.

Consequently, you may be the kind of person who can see the big picture while others are too involved in a discussion to notice what else is going on.

Your personal traits are not good or bad, not valuable or worthless and not simply strengths or weaknesses. It is not black and white. Instead it all depends on the situation and how you use your communication style.

Now, the common mistake people make is to feel bad about not being more outgoing. They put themselves under pressure to be something they are not and this only makes it even more difficult to speak up and be authentic.

When you play to your strengths it feels natural. You are no longer trying to be someone you are not. And the result of this is that you relax, others then respond more favorably to what you say and how you say it.

Let us say you are softly spoken. Work with that trait and you will speak with authority and congruence without needing to raise your voice. You CAN command attention while speaking softly. It all depends on doing it with style - your style.

Developing great people skills is a question of strategy - play to your strengths and be yourself. This is the key to making a great impression whenever you meet new people and a sure fire way to form lasting friendships that enrich your life.

Then, with a solid foundation based on your true personality you can become even more charming by dropping the energy drains that hold you back.

By letting go of fears that stop you from expressing yourself with confidence. Sooner than you expect, you will find yourself happier in yourself and more expressive.

And every time you expand your sense of who you are - you will notice something unusual happens. The more you like yourself the more others will like you - they reflect it back to you. It sounds weird but it is true.

Ever had a day when you felt fantastic and could hardly stop smiling? Remember how other people were much more responsive to you that day? Imagine if that was everyday. It can be.

That is what happens when you drop the energy drains that hold you back. You unlock your true personality and the world responds instantly.

Making friends becomes much easier, people are happy to help you and... you become much more popular because everyone wants to be around someone like you who has the courage to be authentic.
About the Author
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available only at: conversation starters
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