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Fighting the Need to Be the Perfect Stay at Home Mom

Aug 17, 2007
When you start out as a stay at home mom you generally have all kinds of ideas as to how it will be. Playtime with the kids. Time to cook wonderful meals every day. Time for your own interests.

Generally you find out within the first few minutes that it's just not that easy.

There's a lot to being a stay at home mom, especially when the kids are young and need a lot of attention. It is very typical to find that the plans you had are not the way things will work out.

To cope, you need to figure out what matters most to you and your family. Setting your priorities will help to limit the frustration you experience.

For example, if you are dealing with a newborn, some days you will have little energy for anything more than caring for that child. You may have to accept that you won't get housework done that day and that dinner is whatever sounded easy.

As the kids get older, the challenges change. Keeping a perfect house gets harder as children learn to make more messes and as they become more demanding of playtime. It's a lot of fun, and spending time with your children is one of the obvious priorities for your typical stay at home mom.

The challenges here depend a great deal on your children. Some kids are great at cleaning up after themselves. Others are incredibly stubborn and it will be a constant battle. Some kids love it when you cook healthy meals for them, while others fight you every step of the way.

But at all times what you have to remember is that you do not have to be perfect. Your home does not have to be perfect. Even your kids don't have to be perfect.

Take a look at what really matters right now when you're a stay at home mom. It's not the perfect home. It's not creative meals every day. It probably is time spent with your children, but even then you deserve a break sometimes, and kids need to learn to entertain themselves.

When things aren't working the way you originally planned it when you started being a stay at home mom, talk about it with your husband. This is especially important if you're having trouble meeting the original expectations of what you would do at home. You can't always count on understanding, but talking about how things are going is better than letting the stresses build up.

While a lot may be expected of you as a stay at home mom, perfection just isn't going to happen. Life is just not that predictable. Figure out what works for your family, what doesn't, and enjoy the benefits of staying at home.
About the Author
Stephanie Foster offers more tips for stay at home moms and enjoys taking it easy with her kids. She also offers more tips on parenting at http://www.homewiththekids.com/family/ .
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