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You Get What You Look For
The way we know is fateful... Human beings and organizations move in the direction of what they inquire about.
-- Jane Magruder Watkins, Appreciative Inquiry, Theory and Practice
Tell me a story about the best Christmas, best Hanukkah, best holiday season you ever had. What made it so wonderful? Who was involved? What happened? What about that time makes you remember it so vividly? What do you value about what you did? How did you contribute to its special qualities? Write the story down if you like.
As you think about this special time of year, what do you think is at the heart of the holiday you celebrate? Can you look for that this season?
You will find what you look for. For example:
* When your loved one makes a foolish mistake, can you see their positive intention?
* When Mom comments on your teenage son's appearance, can you look for what you appreciate in her?
* When you say something you regret, will you focus on the problem or see the hope, kindness, and optimism that prompted your remark?
The art of Aikido says that the attack is a gift of energy. Here comes a problematical person, an unexpected event, perceived harm. It is unwanted. Aikido says I can look for the gift. And in my experience, when I do look for the gift I find one. I also find power to effect change, both in myself and in my surroundings. The change has, in fact, already begun with the shift in my focus.
We can look for what we appreciate in life or we can focus on problems. Appreciative Inquiry (AI) is a philosophy and a process that builds on strength, fosters optimism, and anticipates a positive future. As you direct your ki towards what you want, the problem becomes fuel for designing the solution.
Holidays are wonderful opportunities for practicing a new perspective, for regaining balance and for experimenting with an appreciative mindset. Our energy follows our attention. If we focus on problems, we find them. How we think determines how we make sense of what happens to us and literally determines the view. If we think life is a treasure, it is, and we find the bounty in life to support that belief. If we judge life a trial, then we see disappointment, pain, and punishment everywhere we go, and may help in creating it.
Look for peace, joy, and appreciation at holiday season and any season. Choose to be happy, then look for the reasons.
About the Author Judy Ringer is the author of Unlikely Teachers: Finding the Hidden Gifts in Daily Conflict and the award-winning e-zine Ki Moments. Judy is a nationally known presenter, specializing in unique workshops on conflict, communication, and creating a positive work environment. She is the founder of Power & Presence Training and chief instructor of Portsmouth Aikido, Portsmouth, NH, USA. To sign up for more free tips and articles like these, visit JudyRinger.com
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