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Ten Simple Ways To Win Friends And Influence People

Aug 17, 2007
Do you want to be more persuasive? Do you wish you had the "gift of the gab?"

Eloquence makes wonderful things happen. It opens mind and shifts attitudes. It also wins friends and influences people.

The "gift of the gab" is the power of personal influence. This has been highly prized throughout history. It has been the source of interesting myths because people have long considered eloquence to be magical. They believe it to be as potent as a charm. In Ireland, for example, it is believed that kissing the Blarney Stone, a part of the Blarney Castle, will give you enchanting fluency.

When you know how to say the right things at the right time, you will develop a knack for turning the tide of fate in your favor.

So, if you want to be more persuasive, rather than at a loss for words, here are 10 tips on how to develop the "gift of the gab."

By improving communication skills, you'll be able to be able to negotiate anything better. You'll be more persuasive. You'll excel at interviews. You'll sell more. You'll also be able to positively influence your boss and colleagues. And, finally, your family and friends will start to see things your way.

Learning how to be an effective communicator starts with a self-inventory.

1. What do you know?

An effective speaker is knowledgeable. They are well-educated about their favorite subject. They can tell you many interesting things about it. They command your attention because they know their subject. They can cite facts and figures. They can also hook your attention with interesting interpretations. Thus, to be persuasive, you have to have be knowledgeable.

2. Do you listen?

How do you persuade others? You get them to agree with you. To do this,
you have to know what they have on their minds. You can only find out by asking open-ended questions and carefully listening to their answers. It's almost impossible to be convincing if you have no rapport with your listeners. The best way to make others better listeners is to be a good listener yourself.

3. Do you have humility?

Natural born leaders have humility. They win friends and influence people by not assuming an imagined sense of superiority. They have a way of making people feel comfortable around them. They have humility. People open up to them and share their thoughts and feelings with them. Arrogant, smug people, on the other hand, unconsciously find many ways to make feel people resistant and uncooperative. Natural born leaders are approachable. They are not afraid to be human, even nurturing.

4. Do you maintain eye contact?

When you give someone your attention, you look into their eyes. This shows that you consider them important. They respond to your focus by returning the favor. Looking around or looking away when talking to someone tells them that you don't find them very interesting. While it is not necessary to stare someone down during a conversation, sufficient eye contact will create a sense of rapport.

5. Do you have a sense of humor?

The fastest way to win someone over is to make them laugh with you. It's almost impossible not to like, admire, and even respect someone who is humorous. It's almost impossible to disagree with someone when you feel good about something they have just said, even if the remark was just a witticism.

6. Do you like other people?

Many people do not like other people very much. They would rather interact with computers, machines, or even interesting books. They, in fact, feel uncomfortable with other people. Eloquent, persuasive people are neither preoccupied nor introverted. Instead, they are open and receptive to what other people say, think, and feel. They are approachable and friendly because they have people skills.

7. Are you "full of yourself?"

Someone who is only interested in getting other people to listen to their personal stories, anecdotes, and experiences is not persuasive. If this self-interest expands to bragging, then the only thing other people are interested in is getting away from you as quickly as possible. If they can't physically leave -- for example, you are all seated down together at a dining table -- then they mentally disengage from what you are saying.

8. Do you smile?

A smile, like eye contact, is a non-verbal, rapport-builder. You can better express what you're saying when you smile.

9. Do you know someone who can be a role model?

One of the fastest ways to move away from feeling inhibited or tongue-tied is to associate with people who are natural talkers. Listening to them, you will automatically develop a knack for building rapport. You'll also learn how to communicate effectively and engagingly.

10. Do you prepare your ideas ahead of time?

In a formal setting, such as at a job interview, a business negotiation, or a persuasive speech, knowing what you will say well ahead of time, will result in a marvelous fluency when you need to present your point of view. So, rehearse and practice what you intend to say.

These ten tips will help you learn how to win friends and influence people. They will make you warmer and more approachable. You will become someone whom others enjoy spending time with talking about things. These ten tips are the next best thing to kissing the Blarney Stone. These communication techniques will make you charming.
About the Author
Saleem Rana would love to share his inspiring ideas His book Never Ever Give Up tells you how. It is offered at no cost as a way to help YOU succeed. http://www.theempoweredsoul.com
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