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Do Women Like Needy Guys?

Aug 18, 2007
Yes and no is the short answer to that question! It's not so much that women like needy guys, but rather than women like to be needed. The skill is in knowing where the boundary between 'needed' and 'needy' lies - and making sure that you don't cross the line.

In some instances you will get mixed messages from the woman in your life on this issue. For the most part she is willing to take control. She enjoys taking care of you. She loves that she gets to do things her way without being questioned. This means that you can sit back and let her be happy being needed.

Then comes the day that she's feeling a bit tired and stressed, and you're taking it easy as usual, and she tells you that she's sick of having to do everything. At that point, your letting her take care of things has crossed the line into her thinking that you're needy -- and you didn't do anything to cause it! Don't actually say this to her however or you're opening up a 'you never do anything!' opportunity.

What most women don't want is an overgrown child to take care of. They are happy to care for the man in their life, but they don't want to make all of his decisions. You need to be able to show that you are able to take care of yourself and your family. She won't want you to do much of that, but as long as she knows you can do it, you won't appear needy. If you see you're running short of milk for example, tell her you're going to the grocery store to get some milk, is there anything else you should pick up. She may tell you that she's planning to go to the store anyway, but you'll get kudos for noticing!

If your woman is happy taking command of her family, let her do so, but watch out for signs of stress. If she's a little stressed or tired, don't ask if there's something she'd like you to do to help -- tell her that you feel un-needed and ask if there's anything you can do, and then make sure that you do it without having to be reminded! Bring her breakfast in bed once in a while -- this shows that you're able to take the initiative even if for the most part you don't do so. If there's laundry in the machine, take it out and fold it! Don't say anything to her; just leave it folded on top of the machine. If there's something on the floor that doesn't belong there, pick it up!

When you can see she's busy, noticing things that need done and then doing them without being told is a big difference between your being needy and her being needed. She will notice that you've done them, and perhaps even say thank you once in while, but she won't feel that you're trampling on her 'turf' or feel as if you think she's incapable of doing things.

A man who is secure enough to allow his partner to take care of him because he knows it's important for her to feel needed is far more likely to keep her, than one who is needy enough to have to have his partner decide where they should go on each date, or call her every time the baby's diaper needed changed!
About the Author
Jane Saeman runs a site called along with info on dating and relationship on her blog at at http://www.Hot-Firefighters.com/blog2
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