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Discussing Old Girlfriends With Your New Girlfriend

Aug 18, 2007
This is a double-edged sword, and one of those situations where girls say one thing but they then change the rules when they feel like it! Overall, girls will say they don't want to hear about your old girlfriends. However, they do want to know how they 'measure up' against them! They won't usually come out and tell you this, but they will say things like "So did you bring 'Susie' to this restaurant when you dated her?" just when you least expect it!

It's also not unknown for girls to want to know more intimate details of your relationships with other girls, both in general terms -- how many girls etc. and also more specific -- did you do this with 'Susie', type of questions. They want to know, they tell you they want to know, but how much they want to know is usually unknown to you until you give too much information at which point you'll be only too clear about how much they didn't want to know!

If you have dated any of your new girlfriend's friends in the past, she'll be even more curious about this relationship. This subject area is going to be like walking on quicksand because dressing up the truth to get yourself off the hook may get you further into trouble as it's quite possible your girlfriend and your old girlfriend have already discussed you! Give minimal details but make sure that whatever information you do give is the truth!

What you shouldn't do, under any circumstances, is bring up the subject of old girlfriends without your girlfriend raising the subject first! Telling her that you have been to a location in the past with an ex girlfriend highlights both the fact that your current girlfriend isn't the only girl you've dated (of course she knows this, but it's usually not something she wants to hear when you're with her!), but also that you still remember the girl's name -- and the fact you came to this place with her! You should also remove all photos or other memorabilia relating to past relationships with girls from public view. Leaving them around your apartment will lead your girlfriend to believe that you never got over this past girlfriend and you'll soon be her ex!

Take the lead from your girlfriend about what she wants to know about your past girlfriends. Only give the information requested, but at the same time don't sound as if you're being evasive. A good thing to keep in mind when you are discussing the issue is how much information you really want to know about her past boyfriends! Too much information can be a dangerous thing in a relationship, especially during the early stages when insecurity is still an issue. Once things settle and there's more confidence that the relationship is 'steady' then it's safer to delve into the past, but keep it light, keep it right and keep it short!
About the Author
Jane Saeman runs a site called along with info on dating and relationship on her blog at at http://www.Hot-Firefighters.com/blog2
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