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What? Marriage Books That Guys Can Read?

Aug 18, 2007
What? Marriage books just for guys? Most anyone would agree that reading and connecting with others is a woman's thing. It's natural for many wives to be into relationship. Women love to cuddle up with a book and then with their husbands. But what about the man? How do husbands learn to enjoy a more loving and satisfying marital relationship without decades of counseling?

Perhaps the wisest marriage counseling and advice spring from the experiences of others who have studied, observed, and worked with others to improve marriages throughout the years. Some of the premier marriage books are written from the discoveries found through research and observation. As a wife or husband, you can impact your marriage to become happier and more fulfilling by finding this precious information and applying it to your marriage relationship.

The good news is that seasoned experts have published a number of new marriage books 2007 about improving marriage relationships.

Take for instance, the "tell it like it is" book from Robert Mark and Jane Alter, "Good Husband, Great Marriage." A man's man who once refereed hockey, Robert Alter has counseled marriage couples for more than 20 years. During that time, he discovered that men are the ones who can mess up the marriage relationship, much more than women. This is not surprising, since boys who are competitive in sports and adopt a domination mindset over girls, grow into men who do struggle treating women with respect. Boys and men are not raised to relate in complementary ways, they have to learn about relationships from women.

This book is written for guys by a guy who had to learn the hard way. Robert Alter credits his wife Jane with teaching him how to love, honor and respect her as a person. This book is easy to read, has lots of humor and funny stories. Most of the chapters are only two or three pages long and include an action item at the end of the chapter. This is a must read for all men (and their wives) to stop disrespect and direct their energy to building the marriage of their dreams.

Another new book is Drs. John and Julie Gottman's, "Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage." Dr. John Gottman has studied marriages in his "love lab" for more than 20 years by observing how people approach each other when they communicate. He has become so proficient at observing a couples interaction, he can tell within five minutes with 90 percent plus accuracy, whether a couple will get divorced eventually.

In his new book, the Gottmans tell ten stories of different couples and the lessons you can learn without having to go through the trouble they did. Chapters include lessons on lack of talking, overwork, affairs, being distant and irritable, no passion and more. The foundational book by the Gottmans is "Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work," which helps married couples understand and relate to each other in more loving ways.

If you have a Christian marriage, you may prefer the series of marriage relationship books by Gary Chapman. The newest book by Dr. Chapman published in 2007 is "The Four Seasons of Marriage," which describes the different seasons of marriage that husband and wives encounter during their lives. Let's face it. Time marches on and things change, including people. Is your marriage in the Spring or Summer mode? Fall or winter?

This book can help you find out. And, you can learn seven strategies to strengthen or improve your Christian marriage: dealing with past failures, choosing a winning attitude, learning to speak your spouse's love language, using the power of empathic listening, experiencing the joy of helping your spouse succeed, maximizing, not minimizing your differences and implementing the power of positive influence.

Dr. Chapman's best selling work is "The Five Love Languages," which shows five different ways that people perceive they are being loved and how they expect to be loved. Those five languages include: receiving gifts, acts of service, kind or encouraging words, quality time and physical touch. Every man and woman is different, so a husband's desire for kind words contrasts with his wife's desire to receive gifts. If you know what your partner wants, then by all means give him or her the love in the way he or she wants it.

In conclusion, reading the right marriage books can help guys get it right - the easy way. Why make it harder when experienced and wise people understand what it takes to live happily ever after. Just read one of their books and learn from them.
About the Author
Dave Pipitone is a professional communicator, spiritual entrepreneur, dedicated husband and father. For more information on building a stronger marriage where men can love, honor and respect their wives, visit www.songofourmarriage.com .
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