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Covert & Overt Bridezilla Warning Signs

Aug 18, 2007
There is a bridezilla in every bride - there was one in me when I was getting married - the only question is whether it is controlled or not. The first step toward controlling it is recognizing the warning signs of the wedding disaster that has been named "Bridezilla".

The reason any bride can turn from sweet to a monster is simple: Every bride cares about her wedding day. But like anything, her focus can get twisted and the young woman who just wanted to create a perfect celebration of the love that she shares with her future husband can turn on the people she loves and before she knows it, she has missed the warning signs and bridezilla rears its fearsome mug.

Some bridezilla warning signs are subtle, giving the bride a flashing yellow light that the bride needs to slow down and regroup. A wise young lady will then take the opportunity to put everything back into perspective, refocusing on the people she loves and whom are working so hard to help her mount the celebration.

Other warning signs are anything but subtle. They are reality slapping you in the face announcing that you missed the subtle signs entirely and went straight to bridezilla. If you see yourself in any of the warning signs of this category it is time to hit your knees and make it right - because the dirty little secret is that a bridezilla ultimately ruins her own wedding.

Covert Bridezilla Warning Signs:

A feeling that you are entitled to special treatment because it is your wedding. This ultimately is the basis for a good part of bridezilla behavior. Yes, it is reasonable to want to enjoy the season, but when your mindset starts going from enjoying your engagement period to making it all about you - that is the first subtle sign of bridezilla danger.

You spend hours on your online wedding registry looking to see what has been purchased and what hasn't. Or you simply find yourself expecting lavish gifts or bridal showers.

Thinking about your wedding day 24/7 and / or obsessing about every detail. Often a good sign that this is happening is when you find yourself having trouble making decisions or second guessing even your smallest decisions.

Online discussions with other brides are becoming an obsession, taking up hours of your time.

Not focusing on the marriage you are trying to build. When you find yourself thinking more about the wedding than you do about building the marriage you are trying to celebrate it is time to re-evaluate.

You discover that you are expecting perfection in your wedding rather than a celebration with your loved ones.

Overt Bridezilla Warning Signs:

A member of your wedding party has stepped aside due to your behavior. In reality, if anyone has stepped aside a wise bride will do a careful self assessment to insure that the reason given was not simply a graceful exit to an uncomfortable situation.

You are dictating the personal grooming of your wedding party. There is a fine line between developing a theme for your wedding and being domineering. If your theme includes details that involve issues of personal grooming, talk to your bridal party early (preferably when you ask them to become part of your wedding party) and ask, don't tell. Ultimately their grooming is their business, not yours.

Your groom to be is sick of hearing you talk about the wedding. Remember, everyone loves a party and it's his wedding celebration as well as yours so if he is turned off by the subject chances are that bridezilla has reared her ugly head.

Micromanaging the wedding professionals you have hired to provide services. If you have done your homework and hired based on quality, experience, and skill you will only hurt their performance by trying to manage the details.

You find that you are arguing with virtually everyone from the members of your wedding party, to your Aunt Gracie, to your mother and beyond. Can you say, "Bridezilla"?

Your friends start to avoid you because you won't stop talking about the wedding, or worse, because you won't stop complaining about your own bridesmaids.

Your hairstylist and manicurist spends hours on you and "it's still not right!" Step back take a breath. Bridezilla has just invaded your wedding day.

Erupting because of a run in your nylon, a spill on a dress, or a broken nail. Save yourself a headache by getting or creating a wedding day survival kit in advance so you won't have reason to let these things get to you.

To be sure, you want your wedding day to be memorable. But you want it to be memorable because you celebrated your new marriage with the man you are building a healthy and happy relationship with. What you do not want is to join the multitude of former bridezillas who have to look back at their wedding day and say that the only thing that was wrong with their wedding was "me".

The good news is that you don't have to. Get a trusted sister (or other friend) to help you watch for the bridezilla warning signs. When one of you sees a danger sign, trust them when they raise the red flag and take time to refocus on what is important - your husband, and celebrating with your friends, quirks and all.
About the Author
Jeanette Shinn is a wedding professional with over a dozen years experience making dreams come alive. Find tips and accessories from fall wedding favors to barefoot sandals at http://www.ExcitingWeddingFavors.com.
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