Home » Arts and Entertainment » Humor

To Join Or Not To Join?

Aug 18, 2007
Joiner? I didn't think I was a joiner. I wasn't a Brownie and I left the Girl Scouts before I had to earn a camping badge. I don't camp - unless you call surviving power outages camping.

I survived my childhood without having the sports gene. I didn't join in pick-up games of kick ball, volleyball or anything ball. If the playground supervisor asked me
to join in a game, it meant more people were needed. If more people were needed, it meant whatever they were playing wasn't fun.I discovered at an early age non-joiners make great spectators.

As I grew up, I never subscribed to magazines or joined the Book of the Month Club, the Plant of the Month Club or any of-the-month clubs. I have a compulsive personality. I had to be compulsive about not joining.

Okay, I occasionally volunteered to help various charities. Did that make me a temporary joiner? The problem with volunteering to help temporarily is that you're considered a volunteer forever.

Because my husband anticipated my driving-challenged problems, he made me join AAA; but I officially became a joiner when I joined MasterCard. Because MasterCard has a high interest in members who aren't in good standing, I'm not an outstanding member. I'm a member who wants the frequent flyer miles I get by using my card. I want as many socially acceptable, free rides as possible.

Although I didn't think I was a joiner, I am - but with some reluctance. For example, when someone asks you to join them for dinner, they automatically assume that you will ask them to join you for a future dinner; and they want to join for equal or greater value.

I found value in joining the Democratic Party. Then I un-joined to join the Independent Party. I was trying to increase my chance to be enthusiastic about voting in primaries. Frankly, I can't tell the difference between Democrats and Republicans. They're joined by special interests.

Being joined in marriage is my special interest. For three dollars - the cost of the marriage license - my lifetime membership has given me a partner, happiness, laughs, a few sorrows and two sons as bonus rewards.

Unfortunately, John and I aren't joined in political beliefs. Because we often cancel each other's votes - especially presidential votes - I'm thinking of joining the voters in Florida - where the Supreme Court decides who's president.
About the Author
KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life.
Take a minute to make yourself smile at
http://knightwatch.typepad.com
Rating:
Please Rate:
(Average: Not rated)
Views: 167
Print Email Report Share
Article Categories
    • Classic Cars
    • Motorcycles
    • Recreational Vehicles
    • SUVs
    • Trucks
    • Vans
    • Branding
    • Business Opportunities
    • Careers and Jobs
    • Corporate
    • Customer Service
    • Direct Mail
    • Entrepreneurship
    • Ethics
    • Financing
    • Franchising
    • Home-Based Business
    • Human Resources
    • Import and Export
    • Leadership
    • Management
    • Market Research
    • Marketing and Advertising
    • Negotiation
    • Network Marketing
    • Networking
    • Organizational
    • Presentation
    • Project Management
    • Public Relations
    • Small Business
    • Strategic Planning
    • Team Building
    • Telemarketing
    • Training
    • Data Recovery
    • Databases
    • Games
    • Hardware
    • Networks
    • Operating Systems
    • Programming
    • Security
    • Software
    • Spyware and Viruses
    • Ask an Expert
    • College and University
    • Home Schooling
    • K-12
    • Languages
    • Online Education
    • Psychology
    • Accounting
    • Credit
    • Currency Trading
    • Debt Consolidation
    • Insurance
    • Investing
    • Leasing
    • Loans
    • Mortgage
    • Mutual Funds
    • Personal Finance
    • Stock Market
    • Structured Settlements
    • Taxes
    • Wealth Building
    • Coffee
    • Cooking
    • Gourmet
    • Recipes
    • Wine and Spirits
    • Acne
    • Aerobics
    • Alternative Medicine
    • Beauty
    • Cancer
    • Cosmetics
    • Depression
    • Diabetes
    • Diseases and Conditions
    • Fitness Equipment
    • Fitness
    • Hair Loss
    • Heart Disease
    • Medicine
    • Men's Health
    • Muscle Building
    • Nutrition
    • Skin Care
    • Supplements and Vitamins
    • Weight Loss
    • Women's Health
    • Yoga
    • Arts and Crafts
    • Babies
    • Collecting
    • Elderly Care
    • Genealogy
    • Hobbies
    • Parenting
    • Pets
    • Pregnancy
    • Woodworking
    • Feng Shui
    • Gardening
    • Home Appliances
    • Home Security
    • Interior Design
    • Landscaping
    • Affiliate Programs
    • Article Marketing
    • Auctions
    • Audio
    • Banner Advertising
    • Blogging
    • Broadband
    • Domain Names
    • E-Books
    • E-Commerce
    • Email Marketing
    • Ezines and Newsletters
    • Forums
    • Internet Marketing
    • Link Popularity
    • Pay-Per-Click
    • Podcasting
    • RSS
    • Search Engine Marketing
    • Search Engine Optimization
    • Security
    • Social Media
    • Spam
    • Video
    • Viral Marketing
    • Web Design
    • Web Development
    • Web Hosting
    • Copyright
    • Cyber Law
    • Intellectual Property
    • National, State, Local
    • Patents
    • Regulatory Compliance
    • Trademarks
    • Buying
    • Selling
    • Baseball
    • Basketball
    • Boating
    • Cycling
    • Extreme Sports
    • Fishing
    • Football
    • Golf
    • Hockey
    • Hunting
    • Martial Arts
    • Running
    • Scuba Diving
    • Soccer
    • Swimming
    • Tennis
    • Dating
    • Divorce
    • Marriage
    • Weddings
    • Astrology
    • Buddhism
    • Christianity
    • Faith
    • Hinduism
    • Islam
    • Judaism
    • Meditation
    • Metaphysical
    • New Age
    • Cable and Satellite TV
    • Cell Phones
    • Communication
    • Gadgets and Gizmos
    • GPS
    • Satellite Radio
    • Video Conferencing
    • VoIP
    • Addictions
    • Coaching
    • Goal Setting
    • Motivational
    • Stress Management
    • Time Management
    • Clothing
    • Electronics
    • Fashion
    • Gifts
    • Jewelry
    • Causes and Organizations
    • Environment
    • History
    • Holidays
    • Men's Issues
    • Nature
    • Philosophy
    • Politics
    • Women's Issues
    • World Affairs
    • Air Travel
    • Camping
    • Cruises
    • Destinations
    • Outdoors
    • Article Writing
    • Book Reviews
    • Copywriting
    • Fiction
    • Non-Fiction
    • Poetry
    • Quotes
    • Screenplay
    • Tools and Resources