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Are You An Optimist?

Aug 18, 2007
How do I know I'm an optimist? I know because I meet the three, most obvious requirements. I got out of bed this morning, I'm married and I have children.

Of course, there are lots of other ways to tell if someone's a positive person. When the weatherman forecasts a party cloudy day, a positive person sees it as partly sunny. He washes his car and leaves his umbrella at home. If it rains, his positive nature stays dry.

People whose glass is half full appreciate that something which isn't the whole truth is at least partly true, that someone who is half-hearted at least has a heart and that being a half-wit is better than not being a wit at all.

Optimists check their luggage when they're traveling by plane. They cheerfully have their picture taken at family events. They wear white - even to Italian restaurants.

People who see the best in others believe the check's in the mail, that the blind date will call and that everyone who says, "See you soon" means it. As opposed to voicing a cliche, these people mean it when they say, "Have a good day".

People who expect the best out of life deduct the cost of spa treatments on their tax form. They also look very healthy at their tax audit. People who expect the best out of life exercise on a cruise by playing shuffleboard and bingo and expect not to gain weight. They also avoid wearing horizontal stripes for several months.

If you try new products, you're an optimist. If you believe a shampoo will make your curly hair luxuriously straight or an anti-aging cream will make you look like the twenty-nine-year-old who's advertising the cream, you're a wishful thinker - unless the model is actually sixty-nine.

The thin line between optimism and wishful thinking is easy to see at election time. Optimists vote and wishful thinkers expect those they vote for will keep their campaign promises.

Wishful thinking doesn't create momentum. It doesn't move life forward. It doesn't make life better. Wishful thinking didn't give us electricity, telephones, computers or space travel. The best example of optimistically believing in an idea and turning it into a successful reality is obviously the Pet Rock.

Yes, I'm an optimist. I live in Southern California, the land of earthquakes; but living at the beach doesn't mean my head's in the sand.
About the Author
KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life.
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http://knightwatch.typepad.com
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