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What Not to Talk About on a First Date

Aug 18, 2007
There are a few subject areas which are generally considered to be 'off limits' for a first date, such as issues regarding politics and religion. However it really depends on the person that you are with because it could be that you are with someone who loves nothing better than an intellectual debate on one of these topics. These people are definitely fewer in number than those who wouldn't be entertained by having a conversation on these issues, so until you're sure, it's best to go with the popular thought process and avoid them!

A first date is a time to get to know someone; a time to investigate if they are someone that you might like to get into a more serious relationship with. This means that you need to find out some vital information about this person you are on the date with, and also give them similar information about yourself. Although it's good to talk about yourself, it's not good to only talk about yourself! There can be too much of a good thing right? Besides, if you're talking about you, you're not learning about them!

Answer questions that your date asks in as much detail as you would like from them if you asked the same question. Don't allow your answers to turn into sermons about your likes, dislikes and opinions about life in general. Ask your date questions that will help you to discover the real person behind the physical facade they are presenting to you, but remember that there is a point at which questioning becomes interrogation so be careful you don't cross that boundary. If your date seems happy and relaxed with the conversation and question/answer process, that's fine. If, on the other hand, they start to fidget or look a little uncomfortable, it's time for a change of tactic.

Should you consider from this first date that you think you've met the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, do not tell them! Don't start talking about raising kids together, and sailing off into the sunset. This isn't the time for that. Just sit on the information that this person seems very compatible with you and take things slowly. You might be sure, but your date may need a little bit of time to come around to the idea of a permanent relationship, so don't scare them off!

Be guided by your date about the things that you should and shouldn't talk about. If you ask something and they completely clam up, then move on because it's a no-go area. As long as the conversation is flowing, and both you and your date are relaxed, then don't worry too much about what's being said, just concentrate on having a good time and deciding whether or not you want to get to know this person better.
About the Author
Jane Saeman runs a site called along with info on dating and relationship on her blog at at http://www.Hot-Firefighters.com/blog2
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