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What To Say And What To Avoid In Order To Succeed At Speed Dating

Aug 18, 2007
As with any other conversations there are things that you want to avoid saying when you are talking to others. On the other hand there are things that are good to say in order to succeed at speed dating.

Sometimes part of the problem with dating is people continually say the wrong things and even joke about putting their foot in their mouth.

While no guide or article can go through every comment that should or should not be said there are a few no nos for any speed dating session.

It is acceptable that a potential mate knows that you have had previous relationships with others. You should never speak ill of a past relationship or partner excessively. Even if you can't stand the person or are angry at them you should not burden this new person with ugly comments, name calling or other negative conversation. Remember they want to see you in a positive light and are not concerned about your past relationship.

On the flip side of that do not speak about how great your ex lover really was either. If they were so great why are you still not together? You cannot start a new relationship based on a past relationship or talking about it all the time either.

Try to avoid speaking about negative things during your conversation. Everyone has a bad day, is sometimes broke financially or has a fight with a neighbor, but it is not a good idea to share this with someone that you are meeting for the first time. You absolutely cannot succeed at speed dating by having negative conversations. It is important that you make the other person feel good, comfortable and not stressed or feeling like they have taken a new job as a counselor.

Do not talk about your dysfunctional family, crazy neighbor or jerk of a boss when you are first getting to know someone else. This makes the person sitting across from you think that you have problems with everyone and that you are really the problem. They do not want someone that cannot get along with others or function in society without having a problem. If you do this it is guaranteed that the person will assume that they will be next. Since no one wants to be on the outside of a relationship badmouthing others is not a good idea.

Do not get into deep conversations talking about issues that could be controversial or offend the other person. Everyone has their opinions and is entitled to their own thoughts, but the beginning of a relationship is not the time to share these ideas.

Keep your conversations positive and talk about superficial things such as the weather, local news, or a great event that is coming to your town. This will keep the conversation on a happy and healthy note allowing the both of you to enjoy your session.

You can talk about what you expect out of life, where you want to be in the future or your plans. This is fine because these are things that you are striving for and are not negative or self defeatest behavior. In fact this is an excellent thing to spend a great deal of time on to ensure that you and this potential partner have like goals.

Talking about your career is not a bad thing and it does give the other person some insight to your life. You do want to be careful about spending too much time on your career or seeming as if you are married to your job. Potential mates want someone that is ambitious and successful, but also has a good balance with their priorities.

It is also a good idea if you have children or something else that would influence a relationship to go on and let the person know. It is better to be up front and honest than to let the person find out and then have to make a decision.

Honesty is the biggest key to succeeding at speed dating.
About the Author
Lee Blackspur is the owner of My-Dating-Advice.com which provides online and offline dating tips, advice and articles for men, women and teens of all ages and experience.
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