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Figuring Out How To Save A Marriage
Relationships can be rewarding, painful, tough, disappointing, or just plain aggravating. In a nutshell, that explains just about every marriage that has ever taken place. No one ever said relationships were easy; certainly not marriage. Any two people who are planning to spend 30, 40 or 50 years together will definitely have some bad spots. Some can be repaired, others can't. Having trouble? Here is how to save a marriage.
It takes two to tango, and it usually takes two to cause disharmony in a relationship. If you and your spouse find that you are arguing and fighting all the time, it's because you don't listen to each other. No one listens after the voice is raised to a certain level. Listening occurs in a calm environment. How do you get someone to listen? Ask them to listen! It takes practice. Listening is a learned skill and one that needs constant attention. You can't listen once and then think you've done your job.
However, problems usually happen because communication has come to a halt. When someone says, "You don't listen to me, " they mean it. It's another way of saying that you two have problems. Ignoring the warning signs, or even ignoring the pleas from your spouse, further proves you are not interested in the relationship, and certainly not in your spouse.
Every relationship needs a basis in trust. Throw in respect, and you should have years of success in front of you. Common interests can only get you so far. Marrying your best friend only works for a while. Love and devotion are the beginnings of a great marriage, and the best way to keep a marriage happy to is keep the love alive and the devotion forthcoming.
Anyone who has ever been to a marriage counselor will agree that the first question at the first session is, "Do you want to save your marriage?" Obviously if you don't, there's no reason to be there. However, it's a question that needs to be answered honestly. You either want to save your marriage and are willing to work on it, or you aren't.
Simple things can usually keep a marriage strong, and even repair some serious damage: flowers for no reason, attending an event you aren't too interested in, offering to help around the house rather than sitting around playing video games, have meaningful conversations.
Above all else: stop accusing, start listening, don't raise your voice, and get professional help if all else fails.
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