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Is She Cheating on You?

Aug 18, 2007
First of all, what makes you think that this is a possibility? Is it your own insecurities in the relationship, or is she acting in a way that makes you suspicious? Think about the following:

1. Is she where she says she's going to be? If she isn't, where is she? Have you a legitimate reason to try and find out if she's there - perhaps phoning her on a landline phone? Has this happened before? Has it happened more than once? Have you asked her about her day and whether anything didn't go according to plan? Even the most scheduled day has things happen that make us change our plans; this could be the case with your partner. If you find that she's not where she's meant to be on a number of occasions however, then you've got cause to be suspicious that something's not right.

2. Does she go out with the girls more frequently than she used to? Does she get really dressed up for these social outings - like she used to when first dating you? Are you invited along or told where they're going? If you live together, is she remote and cold towards you when she gets home, or is she over-compensatory nice? Have you tried to follow her or speak to her friends about their nights out? If she's with her friends as she said she is, they'll be open about where they go, if she's not, they'll be more caged in their responses, unsure of what you know and unwilling to betray their friend.

3. Do you feel that your relationship has changed? Does your partner seem as if she's discontent in some way? Is she starting to pick at things that you do? Does she talk about things that show she's not happy with the way things are?

All of these are signs that she could be cheating - however unless you catch her in the arms of another person, or she admits to having an affair, you have nothing but a gut instinct and some possible maybe type evidence. It's time to sit her down and find out where she's at in the relationship.

Pick a time when you're both unlikely to be disturbed. Unplug the phone, turn off the cell phones, and start an open and honest discussion about your relationship. Ask her what she feels about it, and where she thinks it's going. Tell her that you feel she's not 100% committed to it, and that you want to know what's wrong - you can't fix what you don't know is broken. Accuse her and she'll retreat into a shell, so take a more relaxed tone and get her to open up to you. Don't however allow her to put you off with vague responses. If you get the feeling she's hiding something, then you need to tell her that you think she's having an affair and on the basis of her reaction, take the conversation from there.

If your partner is cheating on you, only you can decide what course of action you want to take depending on whether she's sorry or wants out of the relationship. Even if it means the end of your relationship, at least you know the truth, and can move on to a better relationship with someone else.
About the Author
Jane Saeman runs a site called along with info on dating and relationship on her blog at at http://www.Hot-Firefighters.com/blog2
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