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How to Win Friends and Influence People in 3 Easy Steps

Aug 18, 2007
Can you count on the fingers of one hand the number of true friends that you have? Would you like to increase your circle of friends and prove to yourself that you have 'people skills' and you can get more people to like you? This may be easier said than done, especially if you are the loner type - but there are steps that you can take in order to win friends and influence people.

You do not need to entirely change who you are just to make other people like you. What you can do instead is to 'adjust' your attitude so that you can ooze that self-confidence that a lot of people would like to attain, without being over-the-top. At the same time, you can take on a positive way of thinking and attitude so that you can attain these two goals: by
learning how to win friends and influence people. Take a look at the following easy-to-follow tips which are a sure-fire way of attaining your personal goals:

1. Learn how to take risks.

When you walk into a room full of strangers, do you just go straight to your destination, sit and mostly keep to yourself? If you do this, you may think that you are saving yourself from rejection or hurt - but you are actually doing the opposite. By not taking a risk and sticking to your old habits, you are sending a message to other people that they should stay away from you. However, if you smile, take a general sweep of the room and try to make small conversation with a friendly stranger, you are sending a message that you are easy
to talk to.

2. Remember that it is not all about 'you'.

When talking with a first-time acquaintance, do you often find yourself talking about nothing else but "yourself"? Remember that the person that you are speaking with has his or her own life, too. In order for you to win friends and influence people in a positive way, you need to learn how to initiate a two-way conversation.

After saying a little about yourself, encourage the person that you are talking with to tell you something in return. This is where your knowledge about a wide array of topic becomes useful. Once you find a common ground, you can talk about that and take the conversation from there. If you are joining a group of people, try to inject some humor into the anecdotes that you are sharing, and encourage other people to do the same so that you will not dominate the conversation.

3. Be as sincere and honest as possible.

In the course of interacting with people, you will find that those who are most honest and sincere have the most number of friends. If you are not one of those 'people magnets', you can take a small step and start being one by being a little more open with your interactions with other people.

A little honesty will go a long way, and you may even be surprised at how much people are willing to share once they see that you are genuinely interested with what they have to say. Maintaining eye contact, remaining polite with your
gestures and trying to make other people feel as comfortable as possible would also help a lot in making people like you.

In learning how to win friends and influence people, you do not necessarily that you need to create a new 'you' just to make other people like you in turn. By staying humble, injecting a little sense of humor into your conversations and maintaining a positive frame of mind, you are bound to attract new friends and influence people to widen your social circle and live a fuller and better life.
About the Author
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available only at: conversation starters
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