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Talking to Your Teens About Sex and Sexuality
It often does not take any longer that kindergarten for you to realize that it is a whole new game with raising kids, especially the first time your little angel comes home talking about the cute boy in her class or has her first boyfriend. It's all cute fun at that age, but it does not take long for things to become more serious. One of my friends has a child in the fifth grade who has recently started asking all of the hard questions about sex. Nine years old, and already curious. Why? Because kids have access to information and are exposed to images of sex and sexuality at younger and younger ages. What I try to tell moms and dads is that you just cannot stick your head in the sand and pretend your kids are not curious. And, unfortunately, blaming it all on the stork no longer works in this age of instant information. In fact, the more honest and forthright you are with your child about sex and sexuality when they are younger, the easier it will be to broach the really tough topics when they get older. When your teens and pre-teens start having questions about sex and sexuality, I promise if you aren't the ones having conversation with them about it, somebody (friends, potential boyfriends, friends' older siblings) is talking to them. It is better if they get their information from you. Your approach when talking about sex and sexuality with your teen is honesty. That does not mean it has to be x-rated explicit discussion. It should be discussion that is comfortable for both of you but helps your teen get comfortable. The conversations you have should answer their questions without embarrassing them; you should not use it as an opportunity to threaten them about their behavior or accuse them of being too promiscuous or knowledgeable. The information about sex and sexuality is all around your teen all the time. What you have to do is help your teen understand that sexual feelings are natural and normal, that how they feel is part of what makes them human. Help them understand that sex and sexuality are not taboo but there is a time and a place for it. Talk to your teens about safe sex; no matter how much we would all like to believe it, more than one-third of all teens will have sex or have performed some kind of sex act by age 15. Let them know about the risks - the physical ones in the form of STDs and the emotional ones as well. Use discussions about sex and sexuality as an opportunity to reinforce with your teen the choice they have to say no. Let them know that they have control of their bodies, that no one should touch them or force them to do things they are not comfortable doing. Reassure your teens that you are there for them when you need to talk - and no matter how uncomfortably squirmy you are feeling inside at having to talk to your teen about sex and sexuality, let them know it's ok to come to you with questions.
About the Author Norbert Georget is an accomplished professional speaker, teen motivator, parenting expert and author of the book, No-Nonsense Parenting For Today's Teenager - How To Feel Like A Good Parent Even When Your Teenager Hates You. You may get a FREE REPORT called No-Nonsense Parenting for the Disrespectful Teenager. All the answers you'll need to deal with your disrespectful teenager.
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