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Must-Read Tips on How to Approach Women

Aug 18, 2007
You know the moment, right?

You see an attractive woman and want to meet her, but you have no idea how to approach women.

Suddenly, you're paralyzed with fear and you quickly remind yourself that you don't know what to say to her anyway, so you pass up the opportunity like 99% of men do.

It's normal. For many guys, the very thought of approaching a woman they don't know to start an interaction scares the hell out of them.

Here are some of the common reasons I've heard guys come up with:

She'll probably reject me / She might not want to talk to me / I'm not good looking enough / She probably has a boyfriend / She might think I'm a weirdo / People might think I'm a stalker / People might think I'm desperate, or lonely / She probably likes guys who are... / She's probably busy and will get frustrated because I will just be wasting her time/ I don't know what to say.

Can you relate to any of those thoughts? I'd be safe to assume that you can, because men all over the world have the same fears of rejection.

What you need to do now is stop and recognize the differences between being rejected and the fear of rejection.

One is real and one is imaginary...and being rejected is not a big deal anyway.

Really, it isn't. My friends and I have approached thousands of women and the worst we've ever got is a "Sorry, I have a boyfriend" or, "Why are you talking to us?" or the women simply ignoring any attempts to converse.

Ooooh, scary! Seriously, it's like water of a duck's back. No hard feelings. No tears.

There are billions of women in on this planet and you are most likely compatible with hundreds of millions of them, if not more.

After personally approaching thousands of women myself, I can confidently say that most women will be receptive to your approach if you do it correctly.

Tips on How to Approach Women: Be Prepared to Offer More Than Her Initially

Sometimes the woman will be immediately receptive and things will go smoothly and easily. However, don't take it personally if a woman doesn't start chatting eagerly to you straight away. There are plenty of reasons a woman may behave like that:

She might not want to look 'too easy' in front of her friends / She might be in a bad mood / She may have just had a negative interaction with someone two minutes before you came over / She might be in the middle of a deep thought or engaging conversation with someone else / She could be feeling nervous / She might be testing to see if you are truly confident.

So, don't freak out and don't take it personally. Stay in there, remain composed and show her that you are the real deal.

Tips on How to Approach Women: Hey Ladies!

Generally I like to say, "Hey guys" instead of, "Hey girls" or "Hey ladies."

Saying "Hey guys" is more neutral and sounds less like you are a horny guy trying to 'pick up girls'.

Of course, in formal social situations with older women whom you aren't sexually interested in, you should consider being a gentleman and addressing them more formally (e.g. "Good afternoon ladies").

Tips on How to Approach Women: Pick-Up Persona vs. Being Social

Ever see a guy walk up to some women and say, "Heyyyyyyyyy...what's happppppening ladies?" or walk up to a woman and say "Heyyyy, how are you doinnng?" while putting on the whole 'bedroom-eyes' look?

It's called 'putting on a pick-up persona' and it doesn't work. Guys make this mistake all over the world, because it can sometimes work on women who are very drunk and behaving the same way themselves.

Instead of going out to 'pick up', you should focus on going out to meet and socialize with women.

It will feel so much more natural and you'll notice that women will respond much more favorably to you. In fact, they will try to pick you up because you'll be behaving like a confident, social guy.

Tips on How to Approach Women: Emotionally-Guarded Conversation

Emotionally guarded conversation is the sort of dialogue that strangers have with each other.

It usually reveals as little as possible about the people involved. For example:

You: Hi.
Her: Hi.
You: So...having a good night?
Her: Yep.
You: Cool...so, what do you do?
Her: I work at a bank.
You: Oh really? That's great. How long have you worked there?
Her: About three years.
You: That's good.

Boring!! Approaching a woman and starting an interaction in this way conveys that:

1. You are stranger who is trying to get to know her.
2. You are boring.
3. You are scared to open yourself up to the world.
4. You hide behind safe, social-niceties and hope that you will get lucky with a woman, without actually having to be a man.
5. You'll probably be a real wussy in the bedroom.

So, don't be afraid to be more expressive. Women want to meet guys just as much as you want to meet girls.
About the Author
Dan Bacon is the CEO and expert dating for TheModernMan.com, a highly-respected company that provides expert dating advice and coaching for men.

As seen on TV - watch free videos now!

Approach Women, Attract Women, Pick Up Artists

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