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Why Christian Men Fail in Relationships

Aug 18, 2007
You may have heard that Christianity isn't a religion, it's a relationship. If that's true, then why do so many Christian men struggle in human relationships? Shouldn't they have a better idea of what a healthy relationship looks like?

Turns out, a poor relationship with God is the primary reason Christian men fail in relationships. But there is another closely related factor that many men fail to grasp. And it causes great harm in their relationships. It's essential that men understand how this concept affect their relationships.

The reason men struggle with relationships is what I call a failure to initiate in righteousness. This principle comes from a close observation of how God acts in relationships and, in contrast, how Adam acted in his relationship with Eve.

We see in salvation that God initiates the relationship with us.

He sent His son to free us from sin and bring us back into a right relationship with Him. The Holy Spirit then draws us to Him. And He communicates to us through His Scriptures. In fact, if He didn't initiate the communication with us, there's no way we could know anything about Him. God is very capable of hiding Himself from us. But He doesn't because He desires to bring us to righteousness in Christ.

In contrast, we see how Adam related to Eve when the serpent tempted her. From the context of Genesis 3, we see that Adam was standing right there. And he was silent. Instead of taking action to protect his wife and his own soul, he stood there passively watching. Only when Eve initiated in sin did he act -- following her into sin.

So what's the difference between the way God acts in relationship versus the way Adam acted? God takes action to bring others to righteousness. Adam didn't take any action except the action that he thought would satisfy his flesh. The result of God's action is an eternal relationship with His children. The result of Adam's action was a broken relationship.

If you want your relationships with other believers to thrive, then the key is to initiate -- take action -- to help them grow in righteousness. But the sure way to see failure in your relationships is to take little action -- except that which satisfies your flesh.

Obviously, this principle doesn't always work with unbelievers. Sometimes it works -- when they become believers. But unbelievers oftentimes will break a relationship with a believer who initiates in righteousness. Christ experienced this many times.
About the Author
Steve Kroening writes for Success magazine and also publishes Wisdom's Edge. You can get Biblical tips on health, finance, relationships, parenting, and success, delivered to your email inbox every week. Simply visit http://www.wisdomsedge.com and sign up for this free e-zine.
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