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Shyness Tips that Work Like Magic

Aug 18, 2007
Even one great shyness tip can help you to overcome your shyness. In this article we will cover several practical ways to beat shyness.

Having interesting conversation topics on hand all the time is one of the greatest ways in overcoming your fear of conversing with other people. Never forget to use them wherever you may go. Conversations may go or turn out badly because of two reasons. The first reason is that you may not have anything to talk about. Second, you may not be prepared.

People who are great with conversations rarely leave home without having anything to say with people that they will meet. For example, in a party, try to listen to some conversations and join them if you are interested in the topic, or you know something about the topic. In the last hour of your work day, try to have a small talk with your colleagues and participate in a conversation about good weekend plans or what you have done in the past weekend.

In some case, this might be a difficulty for some people who are pressed for time. But if you try to make this a habit, preparation will eventually come automatically. It will get easier and easier every time you try to prepare for a new one. You might even run out of conversations you wanted to open up, but in the future you will probably have already established a good conversation already with some people you interacted with.

Letting people know that you are shy might seem a great way of avoiding talking about a controversial subject. Some might say that this is not a good idea because some people might start labeling you as The Shy One.

A problem would only arise two ways: the obvious way and the not so obvious way. The obvious way includes blushing, trembling, twitching or physically manifesting your shyness. The not so obvious way however includes the avoidance of eye contact with other people, not having much to say or usually
declining an offer from others who would like you to accept, when you are far outside of your comfort zone and feeling very uncomfortable.

Rewarding your effort and not the outcome is very crucial in conquering your shyness. We can not control anything else in our lives, but ourselves. We cannot control anybody else, meaning we certainly can not control the outcome of any conversation or the reaction of people in anything that we do.

For instance, you try to smile to a person or a colleague, and your colleague smiled back - that is good. But if you try to smile, but your colleague does not even nod back, you might take it as a failure. That should not be the case. Try to look at it this way - you at least made an effort to interact with the person.

Making things happen for some people may be tough sometimes. Shy people are usually preoccupied with worrying about their shyness. It has always been difficult for them not to think about what people might think about how you look, what you say, and whether these people like you or not. But what can you do for these people? That is what socializing is all about - trying to make an effort for other people and not just yourself.

Picking a social skill and practicing it is another tip for building your social skill. Saying hi to someone everyday will result in you saying more than hi after a week or two. Practicing on one skill at a time will lead you to a better outcome. Practicing will help you build more self confidence that may help conduct better conversations.

One last shyness tip: take classes or join interest groups. Joining a group that has the same interests is a great way of investing in your social life. Meeting people with the same interest will give you more opportunities for longer and happier conversations later on.
About the Author
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available only at: conversation starters
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