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Effective Ways of Solving Shyness

Aug 18, 2007
Everyone knows shyness is a problem that needs to be. solved. But how does one go about it?

The first thing that a shy person has to acknowledge is that he tends to avoid social situations because of his shyness. Taking that first step is a major factor that helps in solving shyness. The irony is that many shy people actually want to be involved in group interaction but do not know how.

Second, a shy person should try to immerse himself in specific social situations to give himself, and others, a chance to interact. A shy person who attends a party will probably hover at the periphery for a few minutes then leave. To counter this, a shy person must give himself more time to meet people.

At a party, he could post himself at the buffet and strike up a conversation with someone about the food and drinks being served. Nothing heavy like politics, just simple chitchat to tide things over until he can find someone who has something in common with him. He might run into someone he knows and turn to that person for a new topic to talk about. He can ask simple questions like: how is your family? Little things like this will help the shy person become more used to interacting with other people by degrees.

It does no good for a shy person to try to arrive late at the occasion, hoping that the less time he spends in the social event, the better it will be for him. That is counter-productive. A better solution is to arrive much earlier than expected, so he can get a chance to meet more people. Of course, this may be daunting to a shy person, so perhaps he can try arriving 30 minutes after the party starts first. Then he can move up to arriving right on time, and eventually to arriving maybe 10 minutes before the expected time.

Shy people are known for maintaining a smaller comfort zone than people who are more confident. This means they have fewer friends and acquaintances with whom they feel comfortable. Usually, a shy person will engage in routine activities with this small network of people over and over again because they do not like to try new things out with new people.

Though a shy person should not pressure himself about overcoming his shyness, he could opt to expand his circle to include new contacts and acquaintances. He could try new things, like hobbies or sports that people in his new circle are fond of pursuing. This is good, because not only does it give the shy person something new to do, it gives him something new to talk about with his old circle of friends aside from the same old routine.

Although it would be nice if there were a magic pill for solving shyness, the fact is, there is none. Still, by following the tips above you can make steady progress and enjoy a happy social life.
About the Author
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available only at: conversation starters
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