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The Question That Can Radically Change Your Marriage (and Other Relationships)

Aug 18, 2007
What if I told you there's one simple question you can ask your spouse every day that would completely change your relationship for the better? If your marriage is lukewarm at best, asking your spouse this question could add new life and vitality to your relationship.

Wives, imagine if your husband came walking through the door after returning from a tough day at work and, after the usual greetings, asked you this: "Honey, what can I do for you that would make your day?"

Then, once you picked your jaw up off the floor, imagine being able to tell him that one thing that would make your day better -- and then seeing him drop everything to do it.

Husbands, how incredible would it be to have your wife call you at the office and ask, "Honey, what can I do for you that would make your day?"

The trouble with this question is that it's simple to ask, but sometimes following through on the request is difficult. Your spouse could ask you to do that one thing you dread more than anything else. Or he or she could ask you to do something that's not very pleasant, it may hurt you, or it might ruin your day to do it. It might cause you to be vulnerable in ways you don't want to consider.

But imagine how your spouse will feel when you've done it. Just today I asked my spouse this question. She was gentle with me and said, "Oh, I just love it when you take care of the kids so I can take a shower in peace." So guess what I'm doing tonight? You got it. Playing with the kids. Now, not only do I get the joy of playing with the kids, but I also get the joy knowing that my wife is happy too.

The question can go beyond marital relationships. You can ask your kids this question. You might want to put some ground rules in place before they answer, though. For instance, it can't involve money, etc. But when your kids get the opportunity to ask you to do something, it will make their day. My kids, who are still young, usually ask me to play something with them.

Before you ask, make sure your mind is set on doing whatever they ask, no matter how hard it is for you. Obviously, sinful things are off limits. But, otherwise, it's a great test to see how willing you are to serve your spouse.

One final note: Don't give your spouse a guilt trip for telling you what will make their day. Don't say, "OK, I'll do it if you really want me to." Just do it with a cheerful heart. After all, you asked for it.
About the Author
Steve Kroening writes for Success magazine and also publishes Wisdom's Edge. You can get Biblical tips on health, finance, relationships, parenting, and success, delivered to your email inbox every week. Simply visit http://www.wisdomsedge.com and sign up for this free e-zine.
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