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Understanding the True Nature of Giving

Aug 18, 2007
There are so many people in the world who are over giving or under giving or giving the wrong thing. This happens very often in relationships where a person gives someone something that isn't wanted.

Bruce Painter, speaker, trainer, and consultant says, "If you can give effectively and intelligently, it is the secret to getting what you want; more importantly, it's the secret to giving others what they want. If you can give others what they want, you're going to get what you want."

Bruce found himself in a situation where he gave everything he had away, and had nothing left. He was exhausted, in pain, and over gave. He had nothing left and became selfish. Through his painful experiences, he developed a plan to help others learn the basics of giving intelligently.

Understand the Signs of Unintelligent Giving:
- Giving too much to children causing them to be unprepared for life.
- Giving the wrong thing in a relationship due to lack of communication.

What Is Giving?
- A key way of giving is listening to others.
- Give your love.
- Donate to charities.
- Give in relationships.
- Give to yourself.

It Is Important to Be in the Giving Zone:
- Contribute
- Make things go right
- Use your ability to give
- Give intelligently
-Give appropriately
- Allow others to give to you

Principles of Giving:
- Be accountable rather than blaming. The most successful people are accountable. They take responsibility for what they are doing. Leaders will not point fingers at someone else, but look at themselves when things are not going well and try to see how they contributed to the problem.

When you blame someone, you don't take responsibility. You are saying that it is always someone else's fault, making everyone else the bad guy.

Types of Giving:
- Insincere giving is a selfish type of giving. It is giving because you want to get something back.
- Giving out of obligation is the type of giving that is not done from the heart. There is no pleasure in it, and the giver feels coerced into it.
- Mechanical giving has no real life or spirit in it.
- The ultimate type of giving is given freely. It is a joy and a pleasure. It is the type of giving when you hit the giving zone. It is giving intelligently, giving to people what they want and allowing them to give back.

Empowering others is a very important part of giving. Teach others to give. This type of giving feeds the community. It can make a difference in the lives of everyone a person touches. Teaching others to give will have a huge impact and change the world.

Teach children to be givers. Don't feel you have to give children everything they want. This is teaching them the opposite of giving. It is teaching them to want. They expect to be catered to, but life doesn't work that way. By giving them everything they want, they grow unwilling to give anything to others. Many negative things can happen from giving children too much.

Children need to learn the joy of giving from a very young age. Give them the opportunity to give to others and they will feel proud about having the ability to give. Giving teaches children responsibility.

Make Intelligent Giving Decisions:
- The major thing to do to give intelligently, give correctly, give joyfully and truthfully is to communicate. Communicate openly at work and at home.
- Be willing to ask people what they want and be willing to tell others what you want. Very few people are willing to do that.
- When you give to people, check with them and see if it is really what they want. Their situation might change and you don't want to force it.

The Art of Giving Criticism Positively:
- Negative criticism makes people feel small. It tears them down.
-Positive criticism is done in such a way it makes people feel good. Talk about what the person does well and what the person can improve upon. Give them feedback and encourage them. Make them feel important and capable. Positive criticism will make the person want to do better.

Learn the key to giving and get into the Giving Zone. Be a proactive, intelligent giver, developing your values and principles to reach your full potential.
About the Author
Dr. Proactive, Randy Gilbert enjoys producing the "Inside Success Show". He presents his insightful interview with Bruce Painter (LivingInTheGivingZone.com) based upon the techniques from his book. Hear the entire inspirational interview free: http://www.insidesuccessradio.com/Guests/Bruce-Painter
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