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Why Even the Best Marriages Can Fall Apart... And What You Can Do to Make Sure Yours Stays Strong

Aug 18, 2007
I recently heard that a good friend of mine and his wife had separated. The news was stunning. These two have been great Christian leaders for more than 20 years. They've even taught others how to have a great marriage. How could they separate?

Sadly, it happens more often than it should. Frankly, leaders become victims of their own success. They find that they have to continually push to stay ahead of the crowd -- to stay leaders. So they spend more time on their work than they do on their marriage.

It's an easy mistake to make. After all, they have great marriages. They know all the principles. They've been to all the conferences. They've never missed an anniversary. And they know their spouses extremely well. What else is there?

Well, there's always something in a relationship that needs nurturing -- even if it's just the relationship itself. You may have heard the old saying, "the only way to coast is to go downhill." Turns out, the saying applies to your marriage too. If you think your marriage has "made it" and you let your marriage coast, there's only one way it can go -- downhill.

So whether you think your marriage is at the top of the heap or not, don't ever think you can stop working on it. It would be a grave mistake.

Instead, take the time to woo your spouse like you did when you were dating or courting. I know it's tough to keep up that intensity, especially once kids and job success come along. But you can still do something to make them feel like they're the most important person in the world. And don't just do it once. Find something that makes them feel that way at least once a week; once a day is even better.

Oh, and don't think the things you do for them all the time are enough. Cooking and cleaning for your husband is great, but go beyond that. And, guys, working on your "honey do" list is great, but you need to do something that makes your wife feel like you really value her. Take her on a date, write her a love letter, or give her a nice massage.

Whatever you do, don't wait for a better time to do it. Do it now, and do it often. Letting it wait is the same as coasting. And we know where that leads.
About the Author
Steve Kroening writes for Success magazine and also publishes Wisdom's Edge. You can get Biblical tips on health, finance, relationships, parenting, and success, delivered to your email inbox every week. Simply visit http://www.wisdomsedge.com and sign up for this free e-zine.
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