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Little Known Social Skill Tips and Tricks

Aug 18, 2007
Developing social skill involves knowing how to conduct person to person communication. It involves a speaker, and a listener who can give, receive and interpret messages.

1. Communication is primarily developed through learning. You have to have a goal - this means knowing why you want to communicate, the interaction being fully dependent on the situation you are in. The various aspects of your personality, past experiences, what you see in the other person and the consequent impression you leave will influence communication.

2. You will also need to include detailed verbal cues (which is the content of the speech) and para-verbal behavior (or non-verbal actions such as posture, eye movements, and facial expressions).

3. The social skill of a person is also affected by what culture and particular social group he belongs to.

4. Social skills are further helped along by a positive reaction from the receiver. Such encouraging reactions such as being pleased, intrigued, calmed, and motivated by the presence of other people leads to increased self-worth and self-esteem. It needs appropriate timing, interaction and reciprocity of some specific behaviors though.

5. Communicating skill also increases due to environmental factors that may include the age, gender and the status of the other person.

Verbal and nonverbal:

Verbal communication includes making small talk or conversation, sharing jokes, and discussing ideas (such as politics, religion, sports, music, technology, current events, or any other type of common topic). These are all considered as forms of verbal communication. This is the most common way of communicating and involves both a speaker and a listener. A teacher speaking in front of a class and posing questions to his students is an example of someone practicing verbal communication.

Nonverbal communication however includes active listening and body language. It is done by sending and receiving messages without words. It is done through the use of different gestures, posture, facial expressions and making eye contact. Sign language and writing are also considered to be part of nonverbal communication.

Difficulties in social skills:

There are reasons why some people have social skill difficulties. Some of the reasons include:

1. Failure to take advantage of learning opportunities.

2. Interference from factors such as emotional disturbances.

Failing to develop adequate social skills often leads to isolation, loneliness, rejection and poor self-esteem. Some forms of psychological disturbance that may result from it are depression, anxiety, sexual dysfunction, aggression and even attempts at suicide. The causes of social impairment vary from person to person, and situation to situation. Problems may start from as simple a cause as poor eye to eye contact with a person, and may eventually include verbal and nonverbal behavior. These problems are quite common and may be seen in almost all social circumstances.

The problem of depression or other depressive disorders remains prevalent in Western society. Social skills therapy is designed to alter interpersonal behavior and also bad choices in cognitive processes linked to social behavior. The appropriate skills to be imparted consist of:

1. The ability to organize cognition and behavior directed toward acceptable social and interpersonal goals.

2. The ability to continually assess and modify behavior to maximize the chances of accomplishing particular goals.

Typical training methods for social skills:

By role-playing, you may act out real-life situations after receiving a verbal instruction from your counselor. You may pretend that you have encountered a situation that is in your own environment so that your reactions will be real.

You can train yourself to behave by working out techniques in communication skills. A trainer can act as a model in demonstrating an appropriate behavior for you. Ask for advice, instructions and proper help so you can get more details on how to develop the right social skill.
About the Author
Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available only at: conversation starters
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