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Who Put "U" In Restaurants?

Aug 18, 2007
Who knew that 46.4% of the average American's food dollar is spent in restaurants? Our lives have gotten so hectic we don't have time to defrost dinner or put something in the microwave.

I remember when going out to eat was a treat. Now, in spite of eating out being more expensive and less healthy for us, it's becoming a necessity.

Because I'm a glass-half-full person - the glass presently being half full of diet soda - I think there might be good news about eating so much processed foods. Because of all the preservatives in processed foods we may be preserved forever.

Fast food is plastic utensils, paper napkins and a menu on the wall. Slow food is silverware, cloth napkins and a waiter who hands you a menu.

In LA most waiters are actors trying to make enough money to support their dream. I admire their dedication; but unfortunately, some of them won't make it as actors. They're the ones who don't have enough talent to act like waiters.

Besides fast food and slow food, there's really slow food - my home cooking. It's hard to believe, but I'd rather stay home and cook than go out for fast food. Every day there seems to be something else in the news about how the fat in fast food keeps blood from passing through our arteries. Frankly, I'd rather pass on fast food than pass because of it.

My husband thinks take-out food is "eating out to-go". I don't. First, the paper napkins aren't folded like fans. Second, I have to clean up after the meal; and third, I don't get tipped.

I try to persuade John to go out to dinner more by telling him the local, mom-and-pop restaurants depend on regular customers like us for a steady income. Of course, if I try this too often, John tells me I'm too outgoing with our own income.

Three times a year - on our birthdays and on our anniversary - we go to a price-is-no-object, eat-whatever-we-want restaurant. I put on my little, black dress; and John wears a jacket and tie. John isn't happy when the maitre d' is the only other man in the restaurant wearing a jacket and tie, but I look at it this way. If my dear husband grabs his heart when he gets the check, at least he's dressed to go and I'm dressed for widowhood.
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KNIGHT PIERCE HIRST takes humorous looks at life.
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