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What Women Want From Men

Aug 29, 2007
Today, I'm going to be talking about the concept of 'value' to explain what women want from men.

The fact is - we all want to add value to our lives. Working hard for extra money can add value to our lives, because of what we can do with the increased disposable income.

We often choose to go to a sports game with friends because such social activities can add value to our lives. We save up to go on a holiday for similar reasons.

Everything we do can be broken down to a point where we are striving to add value to our lives. Keeping that in mind, let's move it to the topic of what women want from you.

We've all seen the kinds of beautiful women who shine like 'beacons of femininity.' You know the ones I'm talking about, right?

She's stunningly attractive, and often found laughing and having fun with her friends in social environments. However, as guys we sometimes take the wrong approach when starting interactions with women like that.

What do we do wrong? Anything and everything possible to try and impress her!

When the interaction begins, the expression of our true personality suddenly becomes restrained as we try to avoid offending her. We no longer behave like the person we truly are at our deepest core.

We become passive and much of our natural masculinity goes out the window, which isn't what women want.

Stop for a moment and imagine yourself being nervous during a job interview. You're frightened of what to say and how to say it, so you pretty much agree or go along with everything that is being discussed in order to avoid any sort of controversy.

The interviewer can feel your anxiety and can sense that you're putting on an 'agreeable persona.'

Now, while you still may be able to land some jobs being nervous and using a false persona, it is the wrong approach to take with women.

By suppressing our real personality in an attempt to avoid 'offending' women, we fail to offer them any value.

To add to that, women are generally not attracted to males who are intimidated by them. Instead, what women want is a man who is confident and capable of leading her. So a man who is uneasy around women will display neither of these very important traits.

Let's look at this in another way. Imagine that you're an attractive woman with a large social network and have guys queuing up to be with you. People want to spend time with you, whether it's to socialize or just 'hang out.'

When it comes to your social life as a woman, you are in demand and things are pretty good.

Now picture yourself as that attractive woman in a social environment, such as a bar. A guy walks up to you and shyly begins a guarded conversation.

Guy: Hi...having a good night?
Woman: Yes, thanks.
Guy: Cool...so what are you drinking?
Woman: Vodka.
Guy: With what?
Woman: Raspberry.
Guy: Cool...so...umm...so...what do you do?
Woman: (Turns to friends, "Let's go dance.")

Ever had that happen to you? I'm guessing that most guys will answer yes to that question.

A lot of guys will approach women and ask boring, typical, guarded questions like those. The problem?

Questions like those don't offer any value to a woman's night. Nor do they express what women want to see from you (i.e. attractive personality traits like confidence, humor, flirting, masculinity).

She's heard those 'lines' a million times before and usually from guys who are inexperienced with women.

The question is: Do you want to be placed in the same category as all the others who have bored her to tears? Again, we all know the answer.

You see, when it comes to working out what women want - you have to understand that an attractive woman will usually be looking to add value to her life - not subtract from it.

When I go out socializing, I too am looking to add value to my night. If somebody is boring and negative, they aren't adding value. In fact, they're subtracting value.

The reality is that people naturally gravitate towards those who are lively, humorous and challenging. Why?

Because it's those sort of people who typically add the most value to our lives. Dull, negative, and guarded people add little or no value and subsequently may have fewer people in their lives.

Ask yourself this question: If you were that attractive woman and two different guys came up to start an interaction, who would you be more interested in pursuing?

a) The passive, boring guy who asked a lot of standard questions? Or,
b) The exciting, unpredictable guy whose body language and conversation was confident, opinionated and daring?

The simple fact is that women are more interested in getting involved with guys know how to behave attractively and who can add value to their lives. That's what women want.

Ask yourself - if you were an attractive woman, would you rather 'trade up' or 'trade down'? Again, the answer is pretty simple.

So, the next time you find yourself in the vicinity of a woman you'd like to interact with, remember to be yourself.

By 'being yourself', I don't mean your platonic, innocent, non-sexual self.

I mean that you should express your real personality and steer away from standard polite and guarded conversations. What women want is a guy who is confident enough to express his real personality, instead of trying to impress her with a 'fake' persona.

Enjoy the experience of meeting women and if you ever find yourself being 'too nice' or platonic, remember this:

Women are far more likely to be attracted to somebody who is lively and interesting because, like you, they too are looking to add value to their night and to their lives.
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