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Boost the Quality of Your Relationship by Focusing on the Positive

Sep 1, 2007
As women of 40 yrs plus, we are fortunate to have experienced many friendships and relationships through our years. We have chosen to form bonds with people as they have displayed qualities we admire, and with others, we may have seen qualities we have disliked and so chosen to deny the forming of bonds with them.

Have you ever attempted to make other people do the things you want to do, or see things the way you see them? Have you struggled to make things go your way? Well, the time has come to stop trying as it is almost impossible to manipulate others. Now is the time to focus on the positive qualities of your relationship and try to let go of the negatives.

Your response to the actions of others must be reviewed if you want to further deepen the bond you have. Try to get past the behaviours that are bothering you and begin focusing on the positive aspects in your relationship. The hope that this person will change to make you happy is often not achievable, so it is now up to you.

As an example, think of a person (most probably your partner) in your life. What qualities are lacking in that person that you disapprove? Does he leave the lid off the toothpaste? Does he leave his clothes spread all over the floor? Maybe you wish he was more attentive or think he is not up to par in the bedroom. Whatever quality it is that upsets you, by focusing your attention on what this person is doing that annoys you, or you disagree with, it becomes inflated in your mind and in fact makes you dwell on this 'problem' and it will annoy you even more.

Instead, what if you focused on the qualities that you admire in this person? What was it about this person that attracted them to you initially? Maybe they had a great sense of humour, maybe they gave you lots of attention and made you feel special or perhaps you connected because you were able to talk openly and he listened. There must have been many good and likeable qualities in him for you to continue being together and deepen your acquaintance into a relationship.

By focusing your attention on the positive qualities of this person more often, your relationship will blossom as you experience these qualities rising to the surface and clouding the negatives. Once you accept these positives and see them continually, you will become more relaxed and find that you become more receptive to him, and he will react to your open acceptance of him and therefore give more to the relationship as well.

Try to be tolerant of the qualities you dislike in the relationship. Put yourself in their shoes for a minute and realize that they may have issues, something in their upbringing, or maybe their priorities lie on a different scale to yours. Is leaving the clothes all over the floor really so dramatic to cause distress, or does he shine when gathering with your friends, shower you with love and attention, remember special dates or events in your relationship?

What is more important to you? The love of a fine man who loves you and is willing to take care of you? Or a man who makes a mess and it takes a few minutes to clean up after him?

In order for you to have a successful relationship, focus your attention on your reactions. Let go. Focus on the positive qualities of your relationship and the appealing aspects of this person.

Lastly, treat others as you would like them to treat you. Respect them for who they are, and what they bring into your life. I am sure that that is the way you would like to be acknowledged. In this way, you will find them being more receptive, you will experience more of the positive qualities more often and a fulfilling relationship will develop.
About the Author
Danette Hibberd
Wellness Coach
Author - From Flutter to Fly, Inspirational Quotes to transform you.
Total wellness for women 40 yrs plus
alternatively healthier
Discover the benefits of natural and holistic living.
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