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A Proactive Method to Untangle and Dismantle a Painful Past

Oct 11, 2007
Many people have suffered through painful past experiences of physical or mental abuse, failure, or cruelty by others. They are held prisoner by these events, allowing the past to chip away at their minds and bodies. Limited by their personal conflicts, they are blind to the great possibilities of their own lives.

Sandy Brewer, therapist and humanitarian says, "Although I came from a cruel background, the fact that I became a woman that ended up happy, fulfilled, and successful with a wonderful relationship and in great relationships with my kids is like the miracle of life. It has been an interesting and powerful journey and I wanted to share that promise with others."

Sandy lived through childhood with abusive parents, nearly dying more than once. She was repeatedly tormented, traumatized, and treated cruelly by both parents. From the depths of resentment, guilt, and hopelessness, she climbed to a life of wisdom, love, and fulfillment. She believes all people struggling with depression, enslaved in the past will benefit from the proactive steps she has to offer.

The first step is to realize that you are no longer a victim. Make a choice to change the way you think about yourself and do not be intimidated by the world around you. Look at all the hurt you have experienced right in the eye and make the proactive choice to walk away from the guilt and resentment that weighs on you. Take charge of what you are thinking, take responsibility for what is happening and love yourself through it all.

Sometimes the emotional trauma may be so overwhelming that depression takes over the body and the spirit, draining the energy right out of you. Do not despair. There are simple steps to help lift you out of the dark, hopeless times and help you see more clearly.

Be aware that emotions cause chemical reactions in the body. Feelings of hopelessness, heaviness of heart, or negativity feed the chemical imbalances in the brain causing even deeper depression. Depression does not have to be permanent. The secret is to get positive thinking to reverse the chemical imbalance causing depression.

Use empowering techniques to offset depression:
- Moving the body is an essential technique of dealing with depression. It is also one of the most difficult because the last thing you want to do when you are depressed is get up and do anything. Realize that overcoming the lethargy will ultimately bring you back to the person you want to be.
-Put as much up-lifting and positive thinking into your life as you can. Read a sentence that offers you hope, take a deep breath of fresh air, associate with people who are positive, listen to inspirational tapes, and read books that help you realize your potential.
-Music is another helpful method to alter the chemical imbalance. Put on some music, move the body and dance if you can. This will help shift the negative atmosphere surrounding you to a more positive environment.
-Talk to a friend in a proactive way. Don't call them just to complain about your circumstances because if they agree with you, it only allows you to fall further into the dark places that are burdening you. Associating with positive people will bring you into the light of hope.

What you feel about yourself makes a big difference. If you are depressed and can push yourself to find one thought each day that makes you happy, then you have the right to be proud of yourself because it was one of the hardest things you have ever done. This one triumph will lead you to repair your injured spirit, giving you the praise, support, and recognition you deserve.

The next step to true peace and hope is forgiveness. This is the hardest step of all. Instead of dwelling on the pain inflicted upon you by others, realize that they have no power over you now. You are the master of your own life. Come to peace knowing they can no longer influence your life. You have control of your own thoughts and feelings. Forgiving will help you grow beyond your past, leading to a path of recovery and fulfillment.
About the Author
Dr. Proactive, Randy Gilbert enjoys producing the "Inside Success Show". He presents his insightful interview with Sandy Brewer (PursuitOfLight.com) based upon the techniques from her book. You can hear the entire inspirational interview for free by going to: http://www.insidesuccessradio.com/Guests/Sandy-Brewer
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